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Thinking about moving on but...

aral2003
aral2003
I have been separated from my husband since early April when he moved out and we have been living apart ever since then. We are signing a separation agreement this week. My husband wants to work things out but he has many issues that he needs to work on before I can even think about reconciling. He has been in outpatient alcoholism treatment for over 4 months and there were times he was emotionally abusive, and even physically abusive. The mental abuse really took a toll on me and was the reason for me wanting to separate. My husband insists that he is making changes because me wanting to separate was allegedly a "wake up call" to him. I am starting to have feelings for someone else but have hesitations about dating because I know this would really hurt my husband as he has hopes of us getting back together. I feel horrible about hurting my husband and feel that I am putting his feelings above mine right now. I really do not know how to handle this.
keelyc
keelyc
It's my opinion that it is extremely unhealthy to begin dating someone at this point. You've been separated practically no time at all. It isn't just about you, but you need to think of the other person (the guy you're interested in). You are coming from a very abusive situation. Trust me, if you decide to get involved with someone this quickly, it will likely be very messy. Take time for yourself, decide what you want, and then think about dating. I promise you that's a better solution to your problem.
thislpass
thislpass
I would encourage you not to get involved with anyone else just yet. If you have invested a good portion of your life with someone you cared about, you may well be grieving, along with myriad other emotions. My own personal situation is a perfect example - facing multiple challenges at present aside from splitting with my ex of four years. In my own case, I have to be very careful not to make important decisions when I am so much on my mind because they will very likely not be the best. Understand you may well be vulnerable and this might feel good at the moment as perhaps a new start or helping to move on. Give it time. If the other person genuinely cares for your feelings, they will give you that understanding. If they don't they are not worth being with. Remember please, it is very easy in a vulnerable for your emotions to trick your rational side into making bad choices that can have negative long term consequences. Tread carefully. Wishing you all the best :)
IamDonetoday
IamDonetoday
Good advice from many, go slowwork on yourself. You know you're not ready, and unsure of which way to goit 's not fair to anyone you, your husband and the person you might be interested in.
I'm not sure if your husband is a good bet, lots for him to work onthe violence is concerning, particularly when he wasn't drunk. I would be concerned with you and your feelings and not his.
Take the time to get healthy, heal, and really think about what you want out of life and what you want in a relationship. When you feel better about life, you'll make better decisions.
Best to you.