I Went no contact after the divorce so i Could
heal my wounds and detach from Him. I Still
had a very strong marital bond. He was long
checked out and with Another woman.

This journey was all about me not Him. It was
about my healing and growing and getting
better and stronger from the inside out.

During separation and Divorce i just numbed
up emotionally to get thru it. Keep reaching
Out for healthy loving support from support
Groups and therapy, keep posting on here.

Grief is a Very Pain filled journey and it must
be felt and Moved thru to come out the other
side, look up the stages of grief. HUGS

I've been avoiding posting too much because I just have so much going on. And seeing so many people hurting is painful. I also never went a day without speaking to my wife. Maybe she just had too much power over me. Maybe, we gave them too much power...

We need to see that we hurt because of us, not because of them. It's an important step to overcoming this, and we will overcome this!
My wife and I also were together for almost 10 years and never went a single day without talking or texting, even when going through rough times, until a few weeks ago when she started to stray and never came back. The emptiness is unbearable some times. Call friends, call them again, and then call them once more. Be kind and understanding of them, change the friend or relative you call so that they don't get overwhelmed. Ask them about their own problems, and don't contradict them when they give you advice, even if you disagree; try instead to tell them why you don't agree and they will kindly point you to what they think your errors are. You still don't have to agree but either way it can help you understand. Also of course seek therapy, come here when you feel it will help, and as @Miek0 says, don't come here when you just can't put up with our sad faces =)
From the scientific point of view, we've been living with a strong dose serotonin for a whole decade (or more for many people here). Suddenly that's completely gone and your brain feels exactly what it would feel if you were a drug addict going cold turkey. It is physically painful, and it feels unbearable, but it isn't.
In extreme cases, medication can help, although I myself have been refusing it thus far; it does get better after some days. There will be really strong lapses back to misery, but we can do it, we have to do it, and we WILL do it!

I am so sorry. This is hard and there is no way around the pain. It can feel like you lost a limb, because you did lose something that was a part of you, something that made you feel whole and complete. I get it. You have to grieve for a while. Allow yourself to cry and feel sad when you need to......dealing with these feelings will help you move past them....slowly, perhaps very slowly, but you will move ahead. It will be baby steps but you will start to heal and feel restoration come. You will always feel some pain, just like when we lose a loved one to death......but you will be more accepting and it will not crush you. Stay strong. Reach out to family and friends who love you and allow them to be a presence and comfort you right now. If the feelings are too overwhelming, you might want to consider talking to a counselor. There are support groups that may give you encouragement. If you belong to a church, talk to your pastor. You might want to think about keeping a journal so you can get your feelings out. Take it fifteen minutes at a time. You will get there, you will come out on the other side of this. You will be in my thoughts.

Love what HopeandMoreHope said about grieving. So true.

There is hope and healing if you are willing to do the work. My counselor approached everything from three perspectives. Spiritual, Psychological, and Physical. Here's the scripture and truth. Here's the modern theory of what's happening. And here's what's medically happening in your body/brain.

There's a battery of things I used because I was desperate to get past the hurt. One was using powerful affirmations. It takes approximately 120 days for the truths to literally rewire your mind, forming a permanent change in your thinking. Continue doing the work of stating them whether you feel it's working or not.

You've got this. You're worth it. You're valuable. You are loved and will make it. You can do it.