Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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HeaveToo 07/12/2009

I was talking to my ex sister in law tonight on facebook. I still am friends with the ex in-laws as I was always close with them.

I found out tonight that my ex has a new man. Apparently her family doesn't know much about him but it sounds serious.

I thought that I was over the whole thing but this information really hit me hard. I am not sure why. I knew that this day was coming and maybe I would have been better off not knowing it. I suspect that this may have happened before she left me anyway, but I still hurt tonight.

Reality is that she didnt' treat me right and even her family knew this. I am better off out of the relationship because it was poison to me and it effected everything about my life.

I know all of these things. It has been sometime since the marriage has ended. Why, then, does it still hurt?

Maybe it is because I remember the person she once was. The tender moments. Now someone else is having those special moments with her. Damn that hurts.

Here I sit, living with my parents. My life is still working itself out. I make 22K less than I made last year. She is with a new guy, has her house, and is having a good old time.

Life is a bitch.

deleted_user 07/12/2009

Dude I am so sorry - it would hurt me huge. I totally get where you are coming from. My ex might find someone before I do also, and I know how much that would hurt. Hope you can find a way to get your mind off it and move on. Hang in there!!! Your life will get better. You're a great guy...

HeaveToo 07/12/2009

I guess that this is payment for breaking my rule of cutting out that part of my life.

Damn.

deleted_user 07/12/2009

I've gotten to the point that when I see my ex on the caller ID I hand the phone to my children.

I don't want to know anything about his life. I don't ask about him. Ever! People feel the need to share things about them but for me it just sets me back.

I'm sorry you're hurting. The first time you hear about another person is the worst.

HeaveToo 07/12/2009

Why are we left to pick up the pieces and they get to rebuild so quick? Maybe because they left the relationship a long time before they walked out.

After I have been through so much I am now wondering these things again. Why couldn't I have been the one to move on with my life by now? I feel like I am standing still while things pass me by.

Damn it, I have come so far, or have I?

keepthehope 07/12/2009

When one makes we we think is a connection, a bond it is something that isn't always that hard to break even if we try to tell ourselves we have. Too many times the ones that held to the believe of a marriage and the person they were with are the ones that are left to struggle and figure out the whys. Time that was spent had an affect on your surroundings. If you are still friendly and commicate with the ex inlaws then you know that there is still a tie there. You have been hurt, we all have and it is as if we need to continue to build up the immunity to all that was. Sorry that it still cuts, but I hope that it is not as deep as the first time.

deleted_user 07/12/2009

I understand completely and I think it is natural to feel upset. I hate the thought of my husband being with someone else. I am a very sensitive person and my feelings get hurt easily. Please know you have every right to be angry and hurt.

patti22 07/12/2009

Oh shoot, why do you assume that he won't get to experience the Other side of her??

People really don't change that much.

HeaveToo 07/12/2009

I am not angry.

Maybe I should feel sorry for him.

I figure that he was there before I was gone, if so, then he is no better than her.

If not, who knows but it sucks that she gets to be happy while I am down in the trenches digging out my life still.

deleted_user 07/12/2009

I can not get over. I know how you feel, the best thing to do for you is to find someone, I know its all crap dating and all, but trust me, ones you will have a gf, that will not hurt that bad.

deleted_user 07/12/2009

I know you are ready to date, so that was advice just for you, believe it or not, I have to drag my friends( who are male) into dating, asking them to call back to women, just do it, hun, go forward.

kdMac 07/12/2009

Hugs to you HeaveToo- this news just sucks to hear no matter what. My former husband was with someone soon after our split (had started talking to her before we split and it progressed following the split)... but four months later it is over and now he is grieving not only the ending of that relationship, but also the ending of our marriage which he never really dealt with at the time..... I try not to think about what he is doing or who he is with (when he doesn't call and expect me to let him vent to me)... I know I wouldn't want his life, so even if my path seems hard- at least it is MY journey and will be made with self-respect and integrity.....

HeaveToo 07/12/2009

I am out there but not being that successful. Actually, I am not being successful at all. This sucks. I am sure that her new man is far better looking than I and makes more money.

patti22 07/12/2009

Not all relationships are happy.

You just don't know. And she's only going to tell the possitive stuff to her family, so they won't know either.

deleted_user 07/12/2009

I sooooo feel your pain. I am going through the EXACT same thing.

My X filed for divorce after cheating on me! 11/2007 and it still hurts like hell!

Especially since we have 2 young sons he takes on happy family day with his new girlfriend.\

Life can be a real Bitch sometimes-You're Right!

deleted_user 07/12/2009

Oh, darn, just join tah cursed Beautiful people support group, "ugly" man.
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/the-beautiful-people-group

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