My sessions seemed to be similar as well. Venting for the most part. I think mine was trying to get to know my situation or my story so to speak. That takes time. It was only in the last 2 sessions that she really gave me direction. A little homework so to speak. If you like her I would hang in there see where it goes or be direct and ask her if she can give you more direction.

Thank you. I will see how things go and take it from there. Maybe I will make a list of things I feel I need help on and see what she thinks of them to add into her plan at some point

You have every right to ask her about what her treatment plan consists of. You also have every right to tell her what you want to accomplish.

As good as the best therapist is, they can only go by what their client tells them. If the client is very general, then pretty much all the therapist can do is treat the client with a 'general outcome' in mind.

Any kind of breakup involves loss. And it's not just loss of the relationship and the other person. There are many facets such as social standing, possible loss of friends/family, loss of finances, loss of living arrangements, even loss of standing w/in one's church, etc.

Not all therapists consider the grief aspect when a client says they're going thru a breakup. It's helpful to remember that w/o going thru the grief process, it's really hard to heal.

Once one gets to the end of that process, it helps to look at how one played a part in the demise of the relationship. This is NOT about blame. Briefly, it's about choices we may have made and not trusting our inner knowing (as in not wanting to see red flags). It's also about looking at what kind of people we surround ourselves with and seeing if we repeat patterns when it comes to all relationships. Nothing is ever totally one sided, even if its just about staying too long (for example).

There is somewhat of an order a therapist may take because it's hard for most people to look within until they get past the emotions that come with the breakup and the grief. If we do not mourn our losses, we will carry that grief with us and it will be hard to heal alnd move on.

The simplified difference between grief and mourning is that grief is what we carry inside. Mourning is the outward expression of that grief.

It helps to decide what you want to specifically accomplish in therapy. Then you can express that to your therapist. That will help him/her to come up with a treatment plan for you.

Broken is right. It takes time for the therapist to get to know you. It also takes time to establish a rapport between client & therapist. This can take as much as two years, depending on the circumstances and frequency of sessions.

Healing doesn't happen over night. And sadly, there are no magic pills (regardless of what the big pharmas say) that make us feel better fast. Healing is a process and it ain't for sissies. It's also not linear. At best, it zig zags, goes in circles, goes sideways and/or two steps forward and one back. It helps to remember that we never go as far back as where we started.

It also helps to practice extreme self-care while you're in the healing process. There's a great book called The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson. It's an easy quick read, but filled with excellent self care 'prescriptions' that are easier to read than they are to follow. ;-)

You are definitely on the right track. Give yourself the gift of however much time it takes you to heal.

~hugs~

I think it's a very fine line.

I have had therapists that basically just sat there and listened to me talk, and I did not find them helpful at all. On the other hand, I have a therapist now who has moved me just huge amounts in my growth in only 2 years, it's amazing really, but if you looked at any individual session it might look like we were just talking or I was venting. I'm doing a ton of work in the second case, but it's not structured or assigned like homework.

Everyone is right that the first few visits will be just talking, because you have to give your therapist information. And talking abut what happened IS work, that's grief and narrating your story. Don't dismiss that part of it too quickly.

What a good therapist does beyond that involves problem solving, I think. They help you look at things in a new way, by listening to what you are struggling with and then making suggestions. They might change your point of view, or give you an idea for handling something in a new way, or give you a tool like journaling to try. They offer guidance as you work your way through the tough stuff, offering support and positive feedback when you're on the right track and assistance when you get stuck.

So those same sessions will still look like you doing a lot of talking about what is going on in your life, but when you're working with a good therapist you'll also be making a lot of positive changes towards health. It won't JUST be venting, although venting can be good; it will be venting and the doing something about it.