Sweetheart, he hasn't changed. His victim has. I thought the same thing when my abusive ex boyfriend started dating someone else. Why couldn't he love me? Why did he change for her? What is wrong with me? LOL. He didn't change. Read my post here. Just read it. It took time, but my ex's true colors eventually came out, and so will your husbands. Abusers don't change.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/20460505-sense-satisfactionabout-abuse-may

I agree with sja's post above, and I also want to suggest taking a break from Facebook for a little while. Before I separated from my husband, I made myself suspend my account and stopped checking it. I actually found that I feel a lot healthier without it and don't use it anymore at all. I was comparing my life too much to other people--and leaving myself open to attacks from his family, which I couldn't handle emotionally. Maybe I could now, but I'm happier without it. Alternatively, I know a few people who have set up second FB accounts for just their close friends and they only use those now. They rarely, if ever, check their main, "public" account.

All the best. What you are feeling is completely normal, and please know you WILL be ok.

You can't keep crazy under wraps forever and the same is true of character. People can change but it takes work!. Your ex is putting his best foot forward because he isn't going to attract someone if he is mentally abusing them.

When he starts feeling comfortable he will revert back to old behaviors. He is already living with someone else and it's only been a few months? No way he can make lasting changing over night.

Keep healing. You did the right thing.

lemaym1.wordpress.com

it's not that people can't and/or don't ever change.
BUT it takes a LOT of time and hard work on their part.
intensive therapy over a long period of time, to stop being an abuser.
so, it's extremely unlikely, damn near impossible, that he's actually changed, in such a short period of time.

this is the "happy happy" phase of the abuser's pattern in relationships.
where he draws them into his web of lies and deceit.
usually, abusers tend to move fast and commit fast, it helps give their victims a false sense of security. it's really just part of their trapping pattern, and also it's due to the abuser's fear of being alone with their own abusive self.

also, people post what they want the world to see on FB. just b/c she posts things that appear shiny and happy, doesnt mean they are. maybe she's trying to prove it to herself. or to him. or to her friends/family. who knows. but none of this means it's "real" or that he's "changed." my stbx is very emotionally abusive. i went through similar feelings to what you're having now, for months. but, karma has caught up to my stbx and his manipulative ways.

sorry you are dealing with this, i know how much it hurts to experience this. i honestly would say you NEED to block any and every way that you could see him and her on FB. that, and taking a break all together if needs be (although, i blocked everyone negative and kept my FB; it kept me in touch with only positive supportive people that way). It's a day by day struggle some times, be gentle with yourself. know that you you are better off without him, he's on a destructive path, keep showing yourself love, take it one day (or hour, or even minute) at a time, you'll make it. big hugs to you.

My stb had our son stay with his friend & kids for swimming then back to her house....Just sent me into a tailspin. I think I;m Ok with him being with her, but not so much with our son being put in the middle without knowing she is the OW that was part of the demise of our family.
I'm hoping I can get better because I know this is just the start of what is coming. I like to think I'm normal so you are too. Just emotions that have o be dealt with. Be easy on yourself.

There's a magic little button on Facebook that says "unfollow" . To find it, hit the tiny arrow located in the upper right hand corner of any post on your news feed. The next time you log on, you'll be blissfully unaware of what that person has posted even if they remain on your friend's list. There are also privacy settings that you can use to keep hostile people away. And it really is okay to "unfriend" someone who is causing you grief. Also understand that checking someone's Facebook is the same as picking up the phone and saying "so how's it going? " There's no reason why you can't use and enjoy your Facebook during these hard times.

Thank you all for your kind words. I blocked him, all of his friends, and his family right after I left. The issue is that he is still "friends" with some of my friends and family. I've asked them not to tell me what's going on or to unfriend him, but they all claim that they just want to keep an eye on my daughter. I get it, but at some point I need to just ignore what they tell me. I absolutely hate not having my daughter with me, but he is still her father. I just hate feeling like I was so easily replaced... I know it takes time to heal, but what really kills me is that he seemingly is so happy now and even after everything I've been through - I'm not. How's that fair?

Good luck to his new girl though.

Does he have primary custody of your daughter? Do you have visitation? Or is it the other way around. You say you have an apartment, good job and healthy little girl, so I'm not quite following the need to keep an eye on your daughter angle.

As to him "changing for her," remember you are now on the outside looking in. How did his relationship with you "look" to outsiders while you were with him? I suspect his nature has not changed, even if he makes some short-term charming changes to get her, they won't last long.

I have primary custody. They pretty much just want to keep an eye on my daughter while she is with him. He never wanted to be around her when I was there and now he claims he wants her. They just want to make sure she is being taken care of...

I like your point about the outside looking in though. I hid a lot of our problems, because I didn't want to be judged. A lot of people just assumed everything was fine...

Eventually as your pain lessens you will reach a point where you say that it is much better to live as you are...than with someone who constantly abuses you
YOU deserve to be treated with kindness, appreciation, decency, RESPECT and love