Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I thought my STBX was my best friend. He and one of our married female friends were secretly messaging each other numerous times a day for months via text, Skype and Facebook. I discovered hundreds of their inappropriate exchanges and they were fucked up on so many levels. There were a couple of situations that stood out to me as especially awful.
She and her husband came to a party at our house. My STBX went upstairs to do something and while he was out of the room, she went psycho on a couple of kids and me about Monster drinks. This was the first time any of us had any idea she was nuts. After she cried and screamed at the kids, she said, "Fuck you, Tammi." I hadn't instigated anything and neither had the kids. When my husband found out about it he dismissed it and said "Oh she probably didn't mean it" or "She was probably just having a bad day." I was like nope, she is a full-blown psycho. Every time the topic came up, he defended her. I realized he didn't have my back, but I could not have imagined the extent to which he had hers. It made me think about other times in our marriage when he should have stood up for me and didn't. You know, I deserve to be with someone who is in my corner rather than a "man" who supports a psycho lady that cusses at kids and has secret Facebook accounts so she can hide her actions from her spouse. Sorry for the run-on sentence!
Another thing that I found especially painful was when i read this message from her to him. "I just read all of your messages and I feel EXACTLY the same way. The difference for me though is that my husband isn't all bad..." I wonder what lies he told her about me. I probably don't want to know. What was his motive? Was he trying to woo her with pity? Everyone who knows me knows that I am a good person. I am loyal and honest, kind and giving. In fact, I gave her three laundry baskets full of little girl's clothing that my daughter outgrew. I tend to spoil my kids, so the clothes I gave her were expensive and looked brand new. Even though they weren't dirty, I washed all of them so they would smell fresh and clean. She said she would come get them but I delivered them to her door. I do things like that all the time for people. Do I sound like I am "all bad" to you?
To make a long story short, my STBX defended her when she lashed out at our family. He also apparently filled her full of lies about me. Isn't it sad that someone like that is the best friend I have? That cuts to the core. I need to make better friends but don't know how! Thanks for listening.
Tammi
She and her husband came to a party at our house. My STBX went upstairs to do something and while he was out of the room, she went psycho on a couple of kids and me about Monster drinks. This was the first time any of us had any idea she was nuts. After she cried and screamed at the kids, she said, "Fuck you, Tammi." I hadn't instigated anything and neither had the kids. When my husband found out about it he dismissed it and said "Oh she probably didn't mean it" or "She was probably just having a bad day." I was like nope, she is a full-blown psycho. Every time the topic came up, he defended her. I realized he didn't have my back, but I could not have imagined the extent to which he had hers. It made me think about other times in our marriage when he should have stood up for me and didn't. You know, I deserve to be with someone who is in my corner rather than a "man" who supports a psycho lady that cusses at kids and has secret Facebook accounts so she can hide her actions from her spouse. Sorry for the run-on sentence!
Another thing that I found especially painful was when i read this message from her to him. "I just read all of your messages and I feel EXACTLY the same way. The difference for me though is that my husband isn't all bad..." I wonder what lies he told her about me. I probably don't want to know. What was his motive? Was he trying to woo her with pity? Everyone who knows me knows that I am a good person. I am loyal and honest, kind and giving. In fact, I gave her three laundry baskets full of little girl's clothing that my daughter outgrew. I tend to spoil my kids, so the clothes I gave her were expensive and looked brand new. Even though they weren't dirty, I washed all of them so they would smell fresh and clean. She said she would come get them but I delivered them to her door. I do things like that all the time for people. Do I sound like I am "all bad" to you?
To make a long story short, my STBX defended her when she lashed out at our family. He also apparently filled her full of lies about me. Isn't it sad that someone like that is the best friend I have? That cuts to the core. I need to make better friends but don't know how! Thanks for listening.
Tammi
I'm sorry you have to deal with the fact that your STBX betrayed you like this. I know the feeling. I also know the feeling of your spouse defending something as if it was "innocent" when it was not. It makes me angry just thinking about it. You don't need to defend yourself, let your virtue speak for itself.
I'm sorry it hurts to realize that, and I agree that it'd be best not to know what lies he said, you don't deserve that :(
Her own H told me he suspected they were cheating and the majority of their fights was about her and my ex.
It's amazing...and the OW being a "friend" is a double hit.
I totally feel for you.