Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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ZenOne 01/18/2017

Today I made the decision to divorce my husband. Even after being separated for almost 3 years, even after his numerous affairs, his narcissistic personality and so much more, it was not an easy decision. Believe it or not, I love him. I also hate him. Our toxic relationship was killing me and I knew I had to get out while there is still a chance of survival. Some people will think I'm being dramatic but it's true.

I'm so scared right now. My gut is in a painful knot. I want to cry but I'm afraid that if I start I will never stop. I want to change my mind and beg him to try again...but I can't. We have tried so many times to save this marriage and every time we failed. My trust in him has been destroyed. I no longer respect him. I would live my life in fear every day if I stayed with him. I'm not sure what I'm mourning. What we had together was horrible. I suppose it's true...we mourn the loss of the dream. We mourn the time invested for nothing.

I'm going to try my best to be gentle and kind and loving with myself. God knows he rarely was.

Thank you for letting me share my story. I pray we all find peace and healing.

cleigh 01/18/2017

Acknowledging the death of a marriage is painful no matter the circumstances. We have to let go of the "what would've beens" and look ahead to "what can be". A difficult task, because the mind wants to keep us trapped in the rose colored glasses version of our past.
A thousand hugs!

ZenOne 01/18/2017

Thank you cleigh

jojored 01/18/2017

I doubt anyone here will believe you're being overly dramatic. We all know too well the pain associated with betrayal and rejection, no matter what form it takes. I felt my soul would just die if I stayed married to a man who barely recognized my existance, and then when I was acknowledged, it was only for what I could do for him. Blech. Congrats on getting the courage to move forward!

lonelyinside 01/18/2017

I think it's only natural to grieve over lost dreams and hopes and the loss of the reality you thought you were living. I feel your pain. I feel your fear. But you will get through it. You will be okay. It will be a long road, but you will be okay.

Alone 01/19/2017

Thanks for sharing. I too love and hate at the same time. And I'm stuck. My head says go but my heart won't let go.

cleigh 01/19/2017

I still love/hate and I been divorced for almost 1 1/2 years. It is a paradox that only time will take care of.

monsolo 01/19/2017

Multiple affairs? Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. My pain is in the chest and I'm processing one affair.

But it's not time wasted. And it's never too late for peace and healing. This is an opportunity. Find that inner "yes". Trust. It will all be ok.

JuJugma 01/19/2017

ZenOne, I totally understand your situation, I am going pretty much thru the same thing, my stbx was verbally/mentally abusive and controlling. He was not an alcoholic, but when he drank he was even worse then. I have been married 4 years, but half of that time I lived out on my own or in another bedroom of the house because of his abusive behaviors. He constantly accused me of cheating on him, because of his insecurities, but he was the one that cheated twice on me, and hid countless e-mails/texts/FB post from lots of women. I moved out after a year of marriage and tried to work on our marriage, and for a while things were better, but it went right back to the same situation as before. I love my husband, but I hate him as well for what he has done and said to me. We have been separated since Oct 4th and I had a really hard time at first, but I am at peace- no more having him tell me what a horrible person I am etc... I don't miss him, I miss the dream I had to spend my life with one person, to grow old etc.. If you need to vent, please feel free to e-mail me. Best wishes to you.

ripped_my_heartout 01/19/2017

It is not an easy decision to divorce. Holding on to hope even though you know it's really over. Less than 2 weeks after I found out of her affairs (3 of them) I filed for divorce. For some reason this seemed to anger her. She said she didn't want to talk about it, so I filed. We have not spoken at all for almost 12 weeks now. I am happy with my decision even though it still pains me. My son tells me she is back with her original affair partner plus she has another boyfriend she is seeing in another town.
I believe we can all find peace and happiness in time. Stay strong, my thoughts are with you -HUGS-

mazie69 01/19/2017

I feel the way you do, married for 25 years, just starting the process of divorce, house is being sold. I also want out of the life I have been living with nothing but pain and arguments and an unhappy home, but yet I am sad too. I think I am more sad about the loss of a family than a marriage. But my older 2 boys have moved out and it is just my 15 year still at home. I want him to be in a happy environment, and it is just not here anymore. But I am sad, over losing the wholeness of a family together under one roof.

mirandac 01/19/2017

I too now love/hate my ex. It took for me
To get totally detached before it turned to
hate. Thats just a recent occurrence the
Hate coming in. HUGS

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