Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Well, it's been over a year since my wife moved out with the kids. We've had a separation agreement in place for some time now, I pay child support and get my kids on the weekends. I've come to the final step in this process, so I felt I should share. I didn't want this divorce. My wife told me she didn't love me anymore back in March of 2009...when I first came to DS. So, on July 1st, 2011 she moved out. This decision have been perfectly fine for her, as she has been over me for some time. We remain somewhat friendly to one another, as we have two young daughters to raise. Anyway, I got the final divorce papers in the mail last night, as I only check the mail once a week. I only check it once a week because there are too many bills and shit...I really don't like bills, you know, because they are all up in my face to pay them and...but that's another story. So the papers I received last night have been signed by her and only require my signature to finalize the process. I sign, mail them back, the lawyers do their thing, mail to the courts and poof, it's all over with...forever. I don't want to sign these papers, as I wish we could work it out. I accept my part in the demise of our marriage, but it still hurts. There's really nothing I can do about it now. I can't make someone love me. It hasn't really gotten easier for me to accept, either. I mean the days have gotten easier and I'm not a complete mess like I used to be...In fact, I'm healthier than ever. I eat right, exercise, sleep, blah, blah, blah...a far cry from 6 months ago when I almost drank myself to death. So hear I sit...divorce papers in front of me, just waiting to be signed...then it's over. I don't really know how to express what I'm feeling, other than just an overwhelming sense of sadness. I never wanted this to happen. It's hard to accept the fact that she doesn't feel the same way I do. But I do know that it will be OK. So anyone out there who is just starting this process, just know that even though it still hurts, you will find strength within yourself that you never knew existed. And trust me, it's gonna surprise the fuck out of you...good luck.
I am glad you have made such great strides, and also sad to see you were, and are still the only one in your marriage. You'll make some woman a great guy who doesn't like to pay bills and stuff someday.
Thanx for the reminder about strength. I've got it, I have to try not to lose control and give up, because I'm getting emotionally beat in this game he's playing.
peace
its huge
congrats
the rest will follow
the healing continues
think of it as another step of the process that is out of the way that you don't have to face again. done. check it off the list.
i personally have witnessed your transformation from being so MISERABLE and unhealthy to now feeling better, and being in touch with your own life.. you came from of place of being numb for many years.
your daughters are happier.. you are happier.. and it is just beginning this new chapter.
i get, rman that you didn't ask for the divorce and that rejection hurts still. but you know what? she obviously doesn't' appreciate you or love you in the way that you deserve. and i don't think you really want her love anyway.. not the conditions she sets on it. you deserve better. not a lifetime of being numb.. you deserve a lifetime with someone who is dialed in and that you are also connected into as well.
so feel the blues for a bit but be thankful for all the positive and wonderful changes that you have accoplished and have yet to accomplish.
hey! you are unstoppable! you work out! :)
at least you tried.
So true!
I'm glad you are doing some important things like being healthy. Your daughters will expect you to be around for awhile.
I wish you all the best. (((HUGS)))
Hugs!