Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So today was the final straw with my ex and money. See, we have been divorced for 4 years. He stopped paying for child support 2 years ago because he was having money issues. I let it pass because I was nice. Also, I did not need this money to live on. I was ok with it (for awhile). A few months went by and all of a sudden he even stopped mentioning the child support and acted like it didnt exist. OKAY. Still being the nice person I am, I did not do anything about it. Then it got to the point that he stopped paying 1/2 for any expenses for the 2 kids we have. I had to get them both braces. He has paid $0 and they are now both paid off. Get the picture. He paid, zilch, nada.
Come summer last year he didnt have any money so he would not let my kids turn on the ac during the summer. They stayed at his house during their summer time until late July with NO AC. When I found out they were stuck in a house that was almost 90 degrees I lost it. I told them to either turn it on or I was coming to get them. He only had to deal with it at night cuz during the day he was at work. He also during that time lost cable and internet. Basically they sat at home in the heat with nothing to do. I called my attorney on this and she said i could not do anything because it was not considered neglect.
During all this time though, it has not stopped him from spending time and money on his new Harley and new girlfriend. Just affects our kids.
Fast forward to last week. He took my daughter shopping for a homecoming dress (on my credit card) and had to stop at the Apple store because he Ipad stopped working. Come to find out it was bad so they said they would replace it for $99. He told her to put that money on MY credit card. When she wouldnt do it, he paid for it. The next day my daughter called and asked for information to get money out of her account. My I asked why, she said it was because her dad needed that $99 because he was taking off work on Friday to go out of town with his girlfriend. WHAT?????!!!!! He was so damn desperate for money that he needed that $99 the next day. OMG I was furious. In the 4 years we have been divorced, he has not taken 1 day off to take the kids anywhere, but yet he has been to Miami, Vegas, and now at least 1 weekend away. What is wrong with this picture??????
Now, today he did it. Im done with worrying about his feeling and worrying that he will lose his home. I could care less at this point what happens to him. If it comes down to it, it just means going from 50/50 custody to me having them 100% of the time.
See, our son totalled his car last month and got a ticket. We found out that its going to cost quite a bit to get an attorney for it. When I asked my ex how he was going to help our son out with it he told me that he was not helping him at all financially and that he has to learn consequences for his actions and that he wasnt bailing him out.
Hmmmm. Really? Consequences? He hasnt paid any with his inability to assist with financially support his kids.
I have not sent a message to my attorney that I need to consult. He can live in a rat infested apartment somewhere or back at home with his parents as far as Im concerned. Im done! Im tired of being a nice person because I dont want to affect his life. Its not really the money, but the idea that he is hypocritical and he doesnt put his kids first in anything. Now that my son is graduating this coming May, I want to be sure that he pays his 1/3rd as well. Going to make sure its garnished or something. He is not getting by with spending all him money on a woman and forgetting he has kids.
Sorry for the rant, but damn Im mad!!!!!!!!!!
Come summer last year he didnt have any money so he would not let my kids turn on the ac during the summer. They stayed at his house during their summer time until late July with NO AC. When I found out they were stuck in a house that was almost 90 degrees I lost it. I told them to either turn it on or I was coming to get them. He only had to deal with it at night cuz during the day he was at work. He also during that time lost cable and internet. Basically they sat at home in the heat with nothing to do. I called my attorney on this and she said i could not do anything because it was not considered neglect.
During all this time though, it has not stopped him from spending time and money on his new Harley and new girlfriend. Just affects our kids.
Fast forward to last week. He took my daughter shopping for a homecoming dress (on my credit card) and had to stop at the Apple store because he Ipad stopped working. Come to find out it was bad so they said they would replace it for $99. He told her to put that money on MY credit card. When she wouldnt do it, he paid for it. The next day my daughter called and asked for information to get money out of her account. My I asked why, she said it was because her dad needed that $99 because he was taking off work on Friday to go out of town with his girlfriend. WHAT?????!!!!! He was so damn desperate for money that he needed that $99 the next day. OMG I was furious. In the 4 years we have been divorced, he has not taken 1 day off to take the kids anywhere, but yet he has been to Miami, Vegas, and now at least 1 weekend away. What is wrong with this picture??????
Now, today he did it. Im done with worrying about his feeling and worrying that he will lose his home. I could care less at this point what happens to him. If it comes down to it, it just means going from 50/50 custody to me having them 100% of the time.
See, our son totalled his car last month and got a ticket. We found out that its going to cost quite a bit to get an attorney for it. When I asked my ex how he was going to help our son out with it he told me that he was not helping him at all financially and that he has to learn consequences for his actions and that he wasnt bailing him out.
Hmmmm. Really? Consequences? He hasnt paid any with his inability to assist with financially support his kids.
I have not sent a message to my attorney that I need to consult. He can live in a rat infested apartment somewhere or back at home with his parents as far as Im concerned. Im done! Im tired of being a nice person because I dont want to affect his life. Its not really the money, but the idea that he is hypocritical and he doesnt put his kids first in anything. Now that my son is graduating this coming May, I want to be sure that he pays his 1/3rd as well. Going to make sure its garnished or something. He is not getting by with spending all him money on a woman and forgetting he has kids.
Sorry for the rant, but damn Im mad!!!!!!!!!!
So, I contacted my attorney to see how to proceed with collecting child support. She said all I needed to do was contact the state and open a case. They would then research and decide how to proceed. It would cost me nothing to do this.
I did exactly that. To open a case isnt so easy. A lot of information to provide. It took over a month, but I got a letter stating that it was under investigation and that I could call at anytime to get an update. I waited another month or so to call and the day I did, they advised that just the day before, they contacted his employer to start garnishing his wages immediately. I dont even think he knew this was happening. About 2 weeks later I received a debit card that had 2 weeks worth of money on it :) That was 7 weeks ago. They take out of each check and they take the current month support plus 1/2 month of back support. I believe they will also interrupt his taxes because he owes so much.
It has now gotten ugly which I knew it would. He advised the kids that he will be selling his house and either moving into an apartment or buying a trailer. He is also giving me a hard time about 2 recent doctor bills that Im trying to get him to pay his half on. I already paid them in full. He is now telling me that I need his permission to take the kids to the doctor. Im guessing because of the money.
I have not yet done so, but Im going to be contacting my attorney to take him back to court to sue him for all the medical /dental expenses I have had to pay in the past few years. I just dont have a choice anymore. Its not fair to me.
I think you are doing the right thing in pursuing it through the court. Obviously, resentment has been building and it probably comes through to the kids, so best to enforce the divorce agreement and hold him accountable.