I was married for just over 20 years and together for almost 23. My wife abandoned us New Years Eve for a drunk as she herself has become one. Since then I have been trying to describe to others what I'm going through, here's what I've come up with.

It's like a very slow moving pendulum. On the left side top we have heartache with sadness blow it. On the right we have hatred at the top along with anger. At the bottom we have indifference and at the very bottom in the middle we have happiness.

When she left I was in heartache but as the pendulum swings I spend periods of time in sadness, then indifference and very brief periods being happy. By brief I mean a day at best before something happens that makes me hate her. Unfortunately the pendulum must swing back and ultimately I get sad again.

As five months have past I no longer reach heartache and hatred and spend most of my time between sadness and anger with more days in happiness as the pendulum is not swinging as high as it had the last time.

I look forward to the day it stops swinging and settles in happiness. I'll know its coming because I will become indifferent to her and her actions.

For each of us the size of the pendulum and the speed at which it swings will be different but for all of us one day it will stop and we will be happy.