Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"
"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer,he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........... God I miss him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"You're with the "Government"...
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get
SCREWED!"
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"
"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer,he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........... God I miss him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"You're with the "Government"...
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get
SCREWED!"
JennyN
OMG!! SSSOOOOOO FUNNY!!! LMAO!!!!
deleted_user
And you can take that to the bank!!! Too funny!!
deleted_user
hahahaha I can't believe I had to sit and try to figure out why she missed the stamp collector LMAO!
deleted_user
whooo hooo! LOL! I would miss the stamp collector too!
deleted_user
You know not to hijack this thread, but this thread did bring back a memory for me. I never knew my mother growing up at all.My father never discussed her. AS a matter of fact I didn't even get to see a picture of her until I was in my teens. She was a very pretty woman & that was all I knew. Well she died without my ever having known her, but she had looked me up and left me in charge of burying her. I went to her apartment and was going through things feeling kind of overwhelmed & then I found this list of husbands my mother had written down. She had in fact married eleven times. One husband was on there twice *grin*. I saw my fathers name on there also. As her best friend saw what it was I had found she said " Oh your mother would be so mortified if she knew you saw that list." I smiled & said " Well all it tells me is that she was an opptimist & kept on trying." :)
deleted_user
THAT WAS PERFECT.....
K9Linda
Blah, how wonderful that you found humor in your mom marrying 11 times. She must've been trying to beat Elizabeth Taylor's record....wait! I think she did! How ironic that what I posted corresponded to someone's life. You're great blah!
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