Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Thanks to everyone

gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I just wanted to thank all of you who are following my story and giving me great advice. She wants to be friends. I am debating between that of no contact for a month or maybe a short period. I do need a break from all the stress she has caused me. She does not seem to feel any remorse from what she did including the three days she disappeared with no explanation before her one week trip to my city. She has been telling me all she did during that time, fun things.But she visited places that have something to do with me. The fact that she was here having fun and did not visit me made me feel very sad today.It could be a year before she can come back. I did not want to call her today. She was the one who called me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
May I suggest the no contact route? It sounds as though you both want different things from the relationship and that doing things the way she seems to see fit is causing you heartache. Don't settle for crumbs. In doing so, you sell yourself short and close yourself off to new possibilities. Give yourself a chance to assess with a bit of distance and calm.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I do get a feeling that she wants to be the one in control always. Thanks for your advice. You are probably right that I am settling for the crumbs she gives me when she feels like it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hate to put suspicion in your thoughts but its there anyway that you could find out for sure if she truly was at her grandmothers I believe you said only 20 minutes from you? Just asking as I have my doubts that she truly was and I hate to see this part of it all hurting you as it is if by chance its not so.

I agree with your thoughts that you need a break from all her drama and some time to get your thoughts together and to be kind to you.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
Here is more drama. I just texted her and I got no answer. I think she is pissed off because I did not call her all day. She called me instead at 11am after I texted her a nice but not romantic message. She sounded happy to talk to me. But I after that I decided not to call her until 8 pm because I was too tired. I am exhausted from all the ups and downs she has put me through. But now I get no answer and I am thinking that I messed up. On the other hand, she has so many mood swings that I feel that i have to walk on eggshells not to disturb her. I cant win. I feel bad now and all I did is take a break.
deleted_user
deleted_user
nope, you can't win because you are in love with her and want it to grow. she is not in love with you and wants to only be acquaintances. her talk of being friends is nonsense. for all intents and purposes, the friendship of such a flighty woman is worthless.

all charm and no action. good grief.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Gabriel, please trust me when I tell you that this woman feels absolutely NOTHING for you. You are being strung along like a love-sick sucker! She will continue to use you and string you along. She has no empathy for what she is doing to you. You're a joke to her. Trust me. Leave. Let your last act towards her be one where you show her that you have backbone, dignity and self-love and self-worth. You can show her this by leaving with no explanation and NO CONTACT ever!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
May I respectfully suggest that you also join the codependency group in this site? I believe you are codependent. Having an unhealthy relationship with someone who is clearly messed up, yet not wanting to leave it because you believe you can "fix it" or that she will "get better" is a classic sign of codependence. I am, so I know what of I speak. I think it may give you the insight you need to let this woman go. She's no good for you. You can't change her because she doesn't want to be changed. You're putting your life on hold waiting for something different to happen, and while on hold you're missing out on life, possibly with someone more worthy of your affections. It's hard to let go, I know, I've done it. But you have to go through it to come out the other side.