Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
CUDAMAN
Texas Declares Waron the USA .
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama a heavily accented southern voice said."This is
Archie, down here at Joes Crab Shack, Houston Texas, I am callin' to tell yall
that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my
cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team
from Hooters. That makes eight!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army
waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. Mr. Obama, the war is still on!
We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harrys farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half
million since we last spoke."
"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day President Obama, the war is still
on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harolds
ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the
Legion have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie
that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is
surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Oh Lord," said Archie, "l'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. President Obama! I am
sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over
a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two
million prisoners.."
GOD BLESS TEXAS
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama a heavily accented southern voice said."This is
Archie, down here at Joes Crab Shack, Houston Texas, I am callin' to tell yall
that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my
cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team
from Hooters. That makes eight!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army
waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. Mr. Obama, the war is still on!
We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harrys farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half
million since we last spoke."
"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day President Obama, the war is still
on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harolds
ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the
Legion have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie
that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is
surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Oh Lord," said Archie, "l'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. President Obama! I am
sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over
a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two
million prisoners.."
GOD BLESS TEXAS
deleted_user
Rerun
deleted_user
rerun but good one, my Father sent it to me, it was funny enough to read over, thanks for the laugh.
deleted_user
lol
CUDAMAN
Yeah but not everybody has read it. Thats the reason I put it up.
Join the Conversation
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...