Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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empty 10/12/2016

despite the 3 months apart and what has been weeks of no contact I am still really struggling with not talking to my ex.

I have sent her a letter which would of been received yesterday at the latest which outlines how I feel and how I am trying to better myself and what counselling has done for me.

Anyway I have tried to take the advice given to me and have been doing stuff to keep my mind occupied (not that it works all the time) like at the moment I am skidding trucks and playing with anti roll over systems.

People pay a lot to do this I am fortunate enough todo it for feee through work, so it's all fun but all I want to do it text her and tell her what it's like and talk to her about the day how it's panned out what we learnt how aweful lunch was, how I flattened cones etc.

How am I suppose to over come this need to involve her in my life? I had it last when when I went rock climbing all week I just wanted to involve her and tell her all about it.

I also really miss not hearing about her day and what's been going on, I am so disconnected from 'my life' I hate it.

I do talk to friends and family but it's not the same I can't express any real enthusiasm or feel like I'm getting any back it's just not the same.

Will this fade away or will I just have to accept? Any advice would be appreciated.

Tonell18 10/12/2016

Hey sorry you're going through this. To answer your question yes it does fade, it doesn't go away completely but yours thoughts of her & her well being or wanting to know how her day is going will slowly become less & less. You'll find that you go days.without thinking about her.
You'll get through it...have you tried journaling?
Best wishes & lots of hugs

Jmit129 10/12/2016

I'm currently 3 weeks post breakup. It is so hard. He broke up with me and all i want is to crawl back into his arms. I spoke with him for the first time today and it was so weird and hard. He was so friendly but that's juat it. He wanta a friendship and i want more

empty 10/12/2016

Thankyou for the support and advice, I have written a few journals and they have helped injust wish she could see them.
My ex wanted a friendship but I couldn't handle being in that scenario I still can't the thought of her dating or meeting other guys tears me apart inside even if she let it from me I would just Facebook stalk (she has blocked me on there)
Ugh this sucks!

empty 10/13/2016

My counsellor has told me to 'get over it' in as many words saying if she wants to talk to you she would or if she wasn't happy and wanted you back she would say so just let her get on with her life.
He decided to focus on a few anxiety issues instead which is good but it doesn't help my heartache.
I have also found that most of my friends don't appear to care, if I don't message anyone my phone doesn't go off I can leave it days sometimes (if I have the will power) it's quite disheartening

kbbcoop77 10/13/2016

3 weeks is nothing unfortunately...and you sent her a letter which is way beyond no contact..you're expecting some response now and it'll either be no response or something lame like "thanks" and just leave you wanting more. You have to cut her off, go through the pain of the breakup (that's why it's called heartbreak) and heal naturally. It takes time but everyone goes through it eventually. And everyone heals unless their some psycho stalker. Stick with the activities you've been enjoying, hang out with those people or contact old friends ...anyone but her.

SBC1238 10/15/2016

I continually run into the same issue. I can't stand not talking to him and he has tried to be my friend. I am finding lately it just makes me madder and more upset so staying away has been better for me.

barnmaidbren 10/15/2016

I've been gone since June and at first I thought I wanted communication simply because it was what I was used to. Now with this time apart I realize I don't even have anything to say to him and I'm much happier now. Give yourself some time to discover yourself again you'll get to know what you really want

Darkprince 10/15/2016

Sympathies... Its been a Year but he and I were together for 12 and he was my best Friend so its still like every Day I want to Tell him something, but it DOES get better. Trust me. Also the Relationship Changes because you Meet new People.

JessieHope 10/15/2016

I chose to follow a simple logical algorithm and so far its working. I imagine 3 people in the room with me when i got/get mad with my spouse/friends/society. One of the people is like the most respected LAW enforcement representative I respect. One is the most respected religious/moral person i Respect. The last person is the one person in the world i value/respect/admire the most in my life. I imagine them listening to me as i explain to my (insert them/it/etc) why i feel upset. I find when I do that, i naturally watch what i would say, i tend to sound more civil and understanding to them as well. People generally enjoy the company of a non judgemental person. They feel comfortable to trust if you are professional, be professional. It works both ways too, you try it pretending you are them*this time and you might see something you were too upset to realize. Just a thought, im not a preacher or anything. Just trying to stay positive.

samantha717 10/15/2016

I am not sure I would stick with a therapist who told me to simply "get over it." How do you feel about your therapist otherwise?

empty 10/16/2016

He is ok he wants to focus on anxiety issues which I get he doesn't know what to say or do when I talk about the relationship

rss72 10/16/2016

i am in a really similar situation, for me we never stopped liking or caring about eachother. So it is so hard and overwhelming to convince myself its not okay to talk to her, but what you have to realize is that you Need to not Need them. Give yourself time, if you want to say something and you feel like it HAS to be said. write it down, reread it, come back to it, and then decide. the chances are you'll realize that you would of regretted saying it. Ive done this multiple times. In this situation its so hard to hear people say that "it takes time" its so hard and frustrating, and sickening. But it does, it really does take time. Dont force yourself to be okay, help yourself each day in the best way you know how, and if your friends arent listening it might be time to really truly sit down and pour your heart out to them because chances are they dont know the gravity of your feelings. i also suggest telling your mom, if youre close, this was a game changer for me. Also, i really think you need to see a different counciler who has more experience with what youre dealing with. best of luck to you, you can get through this

empty 10/16/2016

Thank you all for talking to me and understanding. It's comforting knowing I'm not there only one in this position even though it's shit.
As for my counsellor I'm in a tricky position because it's a free military councillor so it's what I'm given, once I'm back in civic street I will seek out a more experienced councillor for the required fee but at the moment I will bare with what I get for free.
My letter I wrote is being responded too so I'm giving myself false hope but whatever she writes I know it comes from the heart and that's what matters.

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