Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am angry at my daughter for wanting to spend time with her daddy. I feel like I am a selfish Bit**.
This is what is ringing thru my head. I know it's wrong but I have no control over my feelings or thoughts. They build up and then I lash out at my daughter.
1) Why can't she see that her daddy is the reason our family is torn apart?
2) Why can't she see that her daddy - had the affair?
3) How can she want to spend time with that "w**re" and her boys that replaced us?
4) How can she walk in that house like nothing has changed?
5) How can she make plans to stay there over the summer?
6) How dare her be mad at me for not leaving sooner - then turn around and want to be there all the time?
I can keep going on and on and on. But you get the point. So how do I freakin' let go and not take this out on my daughter? I am very angry at my self for being mad at her. A part of me is jealous. She gets to go back to our home and spend time there. I don't. I wanted the house, not him. I can't afford it. He can with the help of his "w**re" of a girlfriend. So I lose everything and he keeps it all. And now my daughter wants to be there. Really!!!!!! UGH!!!!! I am really hating mysefl right now.
Any words of wisdom. Before you tell me to seek counseling. I have started sessions with an Abuse clinic. Part the reason why I'm angry. I know what I lived with for the last 15 years and I want him to be the one to suffer not me. But seems like as usual. I'm the one who loses every thing and suffers the most. While he moves on like nothing every happen.
This is what is ringing thru my head. I know it's wrong but I have no control over my feelings or thoughts. They build up and then I lash out at my daughter.
1) Why can't she see that her daddy is the reason our family is torn apart?
2) Why can't she see that her daddy - had the affair?
3) How can she want to spend time with that "w**re" and her boys that replaced us?
4) How can she walk in that house like nothing has changed?
5) How can she make plans to stay there over the summer?
6) How dare her be mad at me for not leaving sooner - then turn around and want to be there all the time?
I can keep going on and on and on. But you get the point. So how do I freakin' let go and not take this out on my daughter? I am very angry at my self for being mad at her. A part of me is jealous. She gets to go back to our home and spend time there. I don't. I wanted the house, not him. I can't afford it. He can with the help of his "w**re" of a girlfriend. So I lose everything and he keeps it all. And now my daughter wants to be there. Really!!!!!! UGH!!!!! I am really hating mysefl right now.
Any words of wisdom. Before you tell me to seek counseling. I have started sessions with an Abuse clinic. Part the reason why I'm angry. I know what I lived with for the last 15 years and I want him to be the one to suffer not me. But seems like as usual. I'm the one who loses every thing and suffers the most. While he moves on like nothing every happen.
your feelings are going to be normal and they may never change about your entire situation.
let her enjoy being with her father and make sure she remembers you are worth spending time w/ too.
go out, go date, go have fun.
it's all about YOU now!
youre gonna be OK
1) She'll most likely knows, but she's working hard not to think about it. You're the safe parent, so she vents to you. I know that that doesn't feel like a good thing, but it is.
2) She'll most likely gain some understanding when she gets old enough to date herself, but she won't really understand until she's even older.
3) Because kids are wired to attach to their parents and make the best of whatever situation. Just because she has fun times with him, doesn't mean that she doesn't wish the divorce never happened.
4) Because she's a kid.
5) Same as 3.
6) Back to you being the safe parent. She can't get mad at him for fear of him leaving her too. And she'll deny that to herself and you if pushed.
I talk to my kids a lot about how most of us have mixed feelings about everything. They love their dad, but hate him leaving. They love me, but hate when I punish them. They don't particularly love school, but miss seeing the friends they know there over the summer.......
Along with that comes the concept that feelings are OK,but acting on them isn't always. And when feelings get overwhelming, sometimes we all need to find ways to cope with them (taking time out to calm down, getting counseling, venting to a friend, journaling). She'll learn from watching you and how you handle this.