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Taking Back Control

tailspin916
tailspin916
So, talked to a couple of buddies and set up a buddies golf trip in early April. It's only been 6 weeks since she told me she wanted to separate, but the fact she still lives with me and acts as if everything's fine with the exception of her going out on weekends with me not able to ask her where she is going and with whom and me not able to touch her just became too much to bear.
Why give her all the control? So screw that, I'm going to take control of me and what I do. Should I even tell her about my trip in April or is that none of her business?
onmymind2000
onmymind2000
Dude don't say "screw that, I'm going to take control of me and what I do" and then ask if you should tell her?

Take the trip, man. Take the trip.
fakeblonde
fakeblonde
That would be a no, you don't have to tell her a thing unless you have kids, then just arrange a babysitter or something.
broken234
broken234
When does she spring her plans on you? Last minute? I say tell her when you are walking out the door with your suitcase and golf clubs in hand. Unless you have other responsibilities that need to be ensured that they are taking care of when you are gone like kids etc. If so, tell her now that she will need to take care of xyz on your trip away and then look forward to it every day.
onmymind2000
onmymind2000
Broken - good advice, man. If she can be last minute, so can you.
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
I say you deserve this trip. Have fun.
tailspin916
tailspin916
Thanks everyone for the reaffirmation. I felt really good about setting up the trip, but for some F'd up reason, I got kinda sad last night. My wife has always been my vacation partner, now she's become the person I feel I need a vacation from. I know this trip is a good thing for me, but damn...

I won't tell her about the trip, as it's still over a month away. I will let her know about it that week.
idontmakeherhapyenuf
idontmakeherhapyenuf
@Tailspin I'd let her know. It shows that no matter what shit she puts you through, you will remain a trustworthy man and there are open lines of communication. She will see that you are the better person for doing that. Also, it gives her a lot more time to let her mind run through regrets, worries, pre-trip missing you, etc. Sorry to go against the current on this one but that is my perspective.
tailspin916
tailspin916
@IDontMakeHerHappy. I will tell her today, as we bumped up the buddies golf trip to this weekend. I can't wait over a month for this trip, as I need this ASAP. I can't spend another weekend at home wallowing while she's out with God knows who, doing God knows what.
protea
protea
Check out lovesagame.com, you will find the power, and the strength
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