Sorry you're on a roller coaster this morning. It is very hard when they don't understand about investing time and effort into a relationship. They just leave for another spark. Whatever serves them at the time. Taking no account for how it effects the other people in the relationship and family.

LOL at the taser gun thought.
:)

I agree with you, it seems like excuses and just-giving-up-ness.

My opinion (and it is just my opinion) is that relationships take work. Proper communication and an actual effort to stay close over the years...

Scientists tell us that the 'honey-moon phase' is mostly chemical and when the mating period either produces children, or does not, the chemicals subside. Less endorphins, less hormones...

Hearing about 'growing apart' and 'losing the spark' seems like a cop-out to me.

I apologize for anybody I may offend... this is mostly directed at my STBX, not you guys. (even though she'll never read it)

No need to apologize, Dave! I agree with you completely. Every couple I know who has stayed together over the years has been through rough times but stuck together and worked through it. Yeah it'd be cool if you could keep that feeling of falling in love forever but it's not realistic. From what I've seen of long lasting relationships they've hit a point where the relationship changed and evolved into something new and different. I don't see anything wrong with that.

If I compare my marriage to my brothers they're completely opposite. My husband and I talked about everything. We spent all our time together. We enjoyed each others company. We touched constantly even in public. We were as intimate as two people can get. My bother and his wife on the other hand, don't touch or kiss much and they have different interests and spend a lot of time away from each other. But they are there for each other through everything. They have supported each other and are faithful and loyal. They love each other just as much as my husband and I loved each other. The difference is they are still together. I doubt either one of them has much of a spark left. But it's clear they truly love each other.

I think it's really important to keep your own separate identity too. Many people stay so close that they don't have a life outside of their partner. That's a disaster waiting to happen too. I just wish I had fallen in love with someone who was willing to work through all these trials and tribulations with me.

I still enjoyed kissing my ex I really did. That never went away. But she decided to back up a water truck and unload the whole tank on my spark. It worked I'm gone!

A little taze might actually help, ya think?

My ex's line was that the relationship had "run its course"! WTF??? Wasn't interested at all in anyway to get it back on course after 11 years! This after I had thrown him out the year before because he was a cheating, lying scumbag! Ya, that was awesome finding out he was banging a 21 yr old cashier of his! (Oh, and let's not forget the other 2 times he was kicked to the curb for being an alcoholic, pothead, porn addict)

What I didn't know at the time was that he was trying to get together with 2 different managers from the same company where we both worked. Totally awesome, cuz one was my boss for awhile. I recently found out that the second one....who is 28, told him to get a life cuz he was too old for her - he's 45! Gawd................

Group taze!

I have not heard that, must not be reading the right threads...

but yeh, sounds like just another cowardly way/saying to end things.

I get that it's a "spark" that gets a relationship started the same as a spark starts your camp fire, but after it's started you have to keep working at it to keep it going. You add wood to your campfire and it will stay burning for a long time and provide you with warmth and comfort and you'll be all nice and cozy, you don't tend to it and it will slowly die out till there's nothing but a few embers. Now if you want that nice warm fire to come back you are going to have to work harder to get it going again and there will probably be some tears in the process you might get some smoke in your eyes while fanning those flames back to life, but you will have the warmth and comfort back. If you do nothing then you will end up with nothing but cold ashes.

(kicks rocks) True dat!

Lianna, I like what you said. Very nice!

Totally agree wif you hun.

I wasn't sure what you meant at first, but now that I do, I Totally Agree With You!!!!!!

How about-

It's not you, it's me.

Or:

I love you, but I'm not in love with you.

and my all time favorite:

you deserve someone better.

Yeah I got all those lines too Wistom. I think they're all reading from the same book on how to skip out on someone when you've lost your balls.

Sorry for the confusion. I was PO'ed when I wrote this. The phrase that set me off was "There just isn't that spark there anymore". Basically the same as "I love you, but I'm not in love with you".

Seriously... nobody has a taser?? :)