I feel for you. :(. I am just in the beginning stages of divorce. Just stay strong and keep your head up! Sure you have heard that before, but it never hurts to hear it again! Have you tried professional help? Try to think about the positive attributes about yourself. Praying for you.

god bless. thanks for reaching out and the encouragement. every little bit helps.

Oh man, you sound like you're in bad shape! I'm so sorry! Have you seen a doctor for the depression? A suicide attempt is not to be dismissed or taken lightly, and I hope you are under care of a professional. You don't mention family or friends, any of those in your life? Do you go to church? Support groups? Those can be great sources of support and a hug! How about taking a class, joining a club of some sort? Anything to get you interacting and some human contact. A pet? Sorry, I'm just trying to think of anything that will help you feel less alone. I'm a freak that actually likes being alone, go figure. Divorce does not have to = death. I survived it once, and may be facing it again. I do like hugs, so that is something I miss sometimes. But I have work, school, family, friends to communicate with and see. You can do this, you can find something fulfilling to make you happy with yourself. If you don't like your own company, how can you expect to invite another person into the mix? I"ll be thinking of you and keep you in prayer.

Can you move closer to town, family, friends? Maybe that can be a goal to work towards.

yes, thanks to all. lots of ideas. i just dread the idea of doing "lonely guy" things to just be more social. it doesn't feel right. like meet ups and all that.

unfortunately, i bought in an isolated area that is hard to sell a house in, and i am further trapped by the ex always threatening court costs, which means it might be impossible to EVER move home to friends and family. it's horrible. and i can't stop her because i can't afford court. its a catch 22. never thought my life would come to this. locked in a prison really, except prison has people to talk to.

bleccch...

It is never impossible to move. Maybe you can rent out the place. Or sell it, get a realtor to give you a realistic assessment of your options.

When one is caught up in a negative cycle, and I think you are in one, you do not see a way out. There always is one.

Move home to family and friends. Plan it ahead, put the things you absolutely need in storage.

If you have to? Walk away from that house. But please, please, consult a realtor to try to sell it.

Live in a cheap trailer, rent a room in a house, something.

You can change your living situation.

thanks...it's all about the money. she "broke" me. i can't afford rent in town where i belong, all my money is in this house. and if i sell and lose money, i still can't afford to get back home.

i could be here for 30 years. houses move really slow out in the country.

Ok, so maybe moving is a future goal. I filed bankruptcy after my 1st marriage and walked away from a brand new home. Not ideal, but again it's not the end of the world and rebuilt my credit within a few years in order to buy my condo.

I once had a therapist tell me to "act" like I was happy . . . Literally fake it til you make it, lol! It actually helped. Felt kind of silly and took a little more effort than I expected, but it did help in the short term. Put on your favorite music, dance in the living room,watch a funny movie, tell jokes at work. Whatever you gotta do to get you over this hump.

And, by the way, all the "lonely guy" things? Guess why all those other people are there, they are looking for company and companionship too! In the same boat! Maybe you can help another person not be lonely. Oh . . . Helping others, takes the focus off your own issues. Someone always has it worse than us, believe me.

I also have a house out in the country. You are echoing sentiments stbx says all the time. He has a very negative position on our ability to sell a house it's taken him the last 22 years to build. In building this house, he'd drained all of our money and then other people's money too. He puts up roadblock after roadblock, and it's been exhausting for me to take them down, but I succeeded. He puts those roadblocks up because the truth is that he doesn't want to sell. The house will go on the market next week. I found an excellent realtor, and he sees the potential the house has. Sees the "country" locale as an attraction to city folk who want a summer house near a river town. I have every hope that this house will sell. I know it'll go for less that stbx spent on building it, but I'll take what I can. I need this to be over, I need to no longer feel trapped, in prision. I have hope and I will work on knocking down every roadblock that comes my way.

You absolutely have different solutions to chose from, some you may have never considered before. Like someone else posted, contact a few realtors and see what they have to say about your place. What type of buyer would be interested in this house in the country (you once were!). See what improvements they think buyers would like to see, and make them. Make a plan, start executing the plan. Just sitting around and giving up before ever trying will not get you anywhere.

I feel so sorry for you, loneliness cuts like a knife. Please try to get some professional help, suicide is very serious! You found someone before and you will find someone again! Be strong, maybe get a dog, they are loyal, and will help you through the tough times. I will keep checking on you, so don't give up

thank you all so much so far. my stress levels are so high every day i am scared of cancer or whatever. all my muscles and joints ache from the stress, my shoulders burn and bowels burn too. trying to exercise it off, but motivation is so hard

Skip divorce sucks, i too have a lot of MH
Issues i never had before. Grieving and living
In an emotionally unhealthy situation for too
long.

Keep working on the inside of you, thats where
A lot of this probably is coming from. I go to
Alanon, divorce care,therapy and church.

I needed Help, i needed to move thru this
mountain of grief, Feelings and emotions.
Unresolved grief comes Out in other ways.

I am not dating until i am healed and content to
Be single and on my own. You are a little ahead of
Me time wise. There is no magic formula. HUGS

Even when we get far beyond the breakup, at times there is loneliness.
But it does not consume every day. This morning I found myself wishing I had that special Gal.
But I got busy doing things and it does subside. It might take you a little longer but know that things do get better. But its work.

Lonliness takes awhile to cope with,
As you get healthier on the inside it
Will Start to diminish.

While you are grieving everything
Is big and bad and terrible. I got very
Needy and emotionally unstable. Your
Whole world as you knew has changed
And you can not cope or change fast
Enough.

During divorce it comsumes 85% of your
Energy that leaves 15% to deal and cope
With the rest of your life.

As your symptoms start to dissipate your
Levels will slowly go back to where they
Belong. I am not anywhere near normal
Yet and it will be 2 years this May since
The divorce.

The saying is it takes 3 years to normalize,
That means the wanting and embracing of
your new life without your spouse. HUGS

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. The holidays are always the worst for me too. My husband legally separated over 5 years ago and the first 3 were really hell. I went from being in a financially stable position with a very large home and multiple, successful businesses to sacrificing everything to live as a single mom in a tiny apartment above a karate studio. What's worse is that the apartment belonged to his mistress first but it was the only place I could afford. Believe me when I tell you life sucked! The wonderful thing is that I had to find options that never would have considered before. I went back to college at age 50. At times I really wanted it just to end but I'm happier now than ever before. I do still suffer from depression but I recognized the symptoms and I am gentle with myself. Some days are still a struggle but I'm glad for all the challenges I've survived. I'm poor, alone and happy thanks the tools I learned in AlAnon. Please seek professional help. There are free resources such as AlAnon, AA, church groups, etc. If you have insurance check with your provider by calling or logging into their website. Many have mental help videos, podcasts, online learning programs, or other proactive things you can do to take charge of your recovery. Until you learn to love yourself you can't really love another. Dedicate at least year to loving yourself. Online support groups such as this are a great tool to help you feel connected. Perhaps you could consider volunteering at a local shelter or charity organization. Very often the best way to build better lives for ourselves is by helping those less fortunate of which there are always many. A pet is always a good idea. If you can't get a dog, start with a fish or even a hamster. Someone to talk to while you have your morning coffee. A pet that depends on you for survival. I will say a prayer for you. Sending a HUGE HUG :-)