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Struggling to move on and forget!

Heather8585
Heather8585

I'm struggling to move on and forget, I can't seem to get him out of my head and it makes me miss him badly! I don't want to miss him, since our split he has been mean, did some mean things, said some unforgivable things yet still holds onto me by saying 'I need 3 months to clear my head before I can speak to you again'. He needs this 3 months because apparently I'm to blame for the split, the whole thing. And I'm to blame for him not wanting to me my friend for 3 months. 


The truth is im starting to think I'm to blame, I became sick, ended to in hospital and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I tried managing things myself before my diagnosis and have been for years and doing some what okay. But he believes that I'm at fault for us failing because of how I was feeling before my diagnosis. I'm starting to think that I am at fault! I must be at fault.


I guess I've held onto the fact we can talk again in 3 months but the last time we spoke he then decided that he now won't speak to me until next year. It's just killing me inside and I'm lost. 

Changingguy
Changingguy
I don't think it can be all your fault. I just lost a relationship 2 weeks ago but I was the mean one who said the unforgivable things. I think when people are cruel like that, it is easier for them to blame others as so they can keep their denial going about just how wrong and mean they are. I can tell you from being a mean person, you develop a way to guilt others into thinking its them in a convincing way. He knows he is wrong but it do anything to keep from every letting himself think that. He does not sound like someone you want to talk to again when ever it is.
Heather8585
Heather8585
He claims that I was mean the whole time we where together. I know that this defiantly isn't the case and that's what is causing me to be stuck! It's just not true what he's saying. He's referring to the very few occasions that I told him to 'f*ck off'. It was very wrong of me and I apologized as soon as it happened and he had grovelling. All I've ever done is apologize for it but still he made and still makes me feel guilty about it.

I didn't just say it off the cuff for no reason, I was going through a mental breakdown. My ex husband and my new partners ex were tormenting me! My ex husband was doing whatever he could to make me upset, cause fights etc whenever I visited with the kids. My new partners ex gf was coming to my place of work, threatening me and my kids, yelling abuse, damaging my vehicle etc! I was suffering and I guess by saying 'f off' it was a reaction to my breakdown as I felt suffocated by all 3 of them and was constantly on edge which then resulted in me being admitted to the psychiatric ward! It was wrong of me and I apologized every day for it until we ended.

What I can't understand was if I was all to blame then why did he ask me to marry him in the throws of bliss and start organizing a wedding with me. It makes me wonder if he's just using me as his excuse for why things failed.