I am so sorry you are going through this. If your wife is using your children and withholding them from you, you may need to seek out advice from a lawyer. I remember feeling how you are when my ordeal first started and everything that I read or advice given to me was to give myself time. I didm't want to hear that, I wanted something more concrete....but the truth is that I had to go through all the pain, sadness and anger to start to feel better and I finally am starting to feel better. You will get there too. In the mean time, distractions help, especially the time when you are away from your kids. Also when I took charge of my life and started to seek out what my rights were, contacted an attorney and a counsellor etc...that helped too. Good luck and come here to vent.

I'm so sorry she's done this to you. You're not alone. I also have trouble sleeping, and have almost no appetite. I've started taking 2 Ibuprofen PM at bedtime, and that helps me get 2-3 hours of sleep a night. Children only make things more difficult. It's horrible enough to lose your spouse, but loosing time with your kid(s) is the worst. They didn't do anything wrong, but they get caught in the middle a lot of times. My wife cheated too. As bad as it hurts to find out your wife went outside the marriage, what hurts the most is that she gave no consideration about how her actions would damage her own child/children. Not only will I be without a partner, I'll miss a considerable amount of my sons childhood. This forum is a great way to write down your feelings, and get support from others who are going thru a divorce or have already had one. We are here for you.

Thanks for the kind words, I am currently living in the marital home while the stbx lives with her sister with the kids. My lawyer advises we not to leave but in my heart I know,I,will probably have to at some point. I only see, hear and smell memories everywhere I look, making this even harder. She has also filed a protection order against me with nothing more than blatant lies further damaging me because now,I,have to prove them false. I feel so betrayed by the person I counted on the most.

I also understand what you are going through. I also have an autoimmune condition and the stress of the divorce has flared up all my symptoms again. I did actually see my doctor about the lack of sleep, because I have always been an insomniac, and this hasn't helped. She gave me Lunesta and it has helped quite a bit. I also have started seeing a therapist to guide me through surviving this divorce, because it is overwhelming. Just take it one day at a time. I am sure that we will all survive and hopefully be able to rebuild our lives. This is a great place to seek support and realize that others are experiencing the same. Hugs!

I can't recount the many dirty rotten things my cheating stbx spouse did to me w/o triggering my stress . BUT , I am better off where I'm at now than with a person who could treat me that way . You will be too ! Grief is hard but you will com e through this !

I'm so sorry for your pain - the pain is real and that feeling of not been able to breath is real. I never really believe in a "broken heart" until it happen to me cause I felt like my heart really hurt, I felt that pressure in my heart (probably anxiety!!). Their is no magic pill, just time. Try to keep yourself occupy, go out even when you don't want to, make yourself meet with your friends even when you just want to stay home and cuddle with a blanket. It does get better. Praying for your inner peace and stay strong.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond, it is greatly appreciated!

Ok I can understand that my stbx wants a divorce and has found a pillow to cry on, but why does she have to burn me to the ground in the process? The cheating was bad enough but the character assassination is too much!