everyone's stories a bit different..

I've been divorced a year now, but I still remember it crashing down like it was yesterday. My exhusband was cheating on me so I moved out.

it takes time.. I still have moments of devastation, I was with that man for 14 years, and I feel like you said - thrown away like garbage. Its a horrible blow to your self worth, confidence and pride. give yourself some time to mourn the loss of that relationship, you need to grieve. I was able to get our kids into counseling pretty quickly, but as much as I tried my insurance wouldn't pay for me to get counseling.. if you can, look into some counseling. My kids really benefited from that, it helps you break down your thoughts and feelings and come to grips with your emotions a little.

the best advice I can give is distance yourself from him, zero contact with him.. and let yourself cry.. it will get better, there is no magical cure, but knowing your not the first one on this horrible road to a new life.. find strength in knowing others have paved the way for you.

we're always here to vent, and it really does help to get advice from others that have personally been in your shoes, be gentle with yourself, it takes time.. and alot of it.. but a better life is out there, and it will wait until you're ready.. ((hugs))

I think the fear of being alone and the"unknown" has allowed our minds to trick us into believing that the relationship was way better than it really was and that we are somehow to blame. After all, how great could it have been with a person who can walk away so easily?
We need to find it in ourselves to see the truth!

When my breakup after 24 years was fresh (20 months ago) I went to the doctor and laid it all out. He prescribed some anti depressants and Xanax. Seemed to help, just to take the edge off. It's a crappy journey but over time it gets better. The sooner you get to acceptance that it's truly over and no more false hope the better. No contact at all helps even though it's horrible. You have to go through it until it becomes normal not communicating anymore. For me it has been extremely difficult after that much time and raising kids etc...hardest thing I've ever been through but now I can sleep through the night and appetite is back etc...more anger than sadness. But you'll survive. I would read this guide it helped me:

Www.breakuprecoveryguide.com

Take care..!

I am in the same boat. I feel your pain and I am wondering the same thing. The past few months have been rocky for me as well. I can't even get my ex to speak to me. I am in unbearable pain. Do things you enjoy even if you go at them alone, that is my goal in the next few weeks :)

I am four months into a divorce proceeding, after sixteen years of being with my spouse. The first month I thought I would lose my mind! Time is the thing that heals. I am still hurting and the divorce isn't final, but I am doing better than I was initially. You will, too.

It's normal to focus on what was "good" about the relationship once it's done. Let's face it, for all of us, there was a lot that was "bad", too.

It sounds like you're into codependency issues...do you attend any meetings for that? You will find a good base of support there.

I feel you. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years a couple of weeks ago. this is after being abruptly widowed from suicide 3 years ago. I am now feeling acutely both of those losses.

The fear and hardship to going on alone again, on your own, is acute. I am now setting forth to a lifetime of crazy cat ladyhood at 39 and feeling, actually, pretty good about it as I would far rather have a cat then live with an emotionally abusive man or woman who kept me under their thumb. Sometimes it is better to be on your own and free to live according to your own rules then living with someone else who you have to accommodate.

This song by Lana Del Rey called "The Blackest Day" has been my favorite breakup song as late: https://youtu.be/KuyAiUP2MEA?list=RDKuyAiUP2MEA

It will take a lot of time to process this. Give yourself as much time as you can to process this before you go on to the next person, and there will be a next person for you, even though it may be hard to imagine that now.

I too was trapped in weeks of hell while my boyfriend decided what he wanted to do, before breaking up with me about 2 weeks ago. It totally wasn't my decision and I am absolutely broken and shattered.

I am so sorry for your pain. I am pretty lost too. I can't stop thinking about him. I think to process the feelings you need to allow yourself to grieve. Surround yourself with other people and talk it out. It helps me and I hope it helps you too.

Have heart and know that we understand your pain.

You breath.

You reach out to people even if all you want to do is curl into a ball and hide. Even if you think you don't have people... you do. Some of the most impt moments in my journey have come when I reached out to new people.

You breath.

You decide what are the two or three most impt things to you - and you fixate on them with a Lazer focus. Let them be you lighthouse pulling you through the dark.

Breath

Cut yourself slack on everything else. EVERYTHING else. Focus on the impt stuff, ignore the rest. You cam come back to it later.

Know that it takes time. A lot of time. But you will get thru it.

Thank you all for your helpful comments I really appreciate it.

I suppose it's early days and unrealistic to expect to feel better so early on in the process. I have never taken a panic attack before until yesterday. I was in work and had been thinking over things when I felt like I couldn't breathe, I didn't want to make a scene in work and tried to keep it all in and honestly felt like I was gonna die. Is anyone else having this happen to them?

I feel broken and just want to put myself back together again, and feel I am enough and need nobody else. But I fear I will always need someone to validate me...