Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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rose3 02/26/2008

I don't want to let go of the relationship with my baby's father. I see the conflicts we had as being a result of circumstance (bringing a baby into the world, unexpectedly, and the toll it took on me with lack of sleep and raising her on my own. He came over to help with things, but wasn't sleeping over or involved in the daily grind part). It took a year to get my baby to sleep at night - she was up every couple of hours - which took a great toll on me. Yet he saw the relationship as a struggle, wheras, I see it more as the circumstances adding stress. Anyhow, he is very kind in a lot of ways, and we seem to be best friends, and still have strong physical attraction. So, I guess I'm having a hard time accepting and understanding why we are split up (although I know the answere logically).

Any feedback would be welcomed, and is actually needed. Thanks.

kidsintowe03 02/26/2008

from the threads I've read that you have posted, it leaves me with a couple of questions. One of them is this: if he has done nothing in the helping of the raising of your child and hasn't been there apparantly for you emotionally...what are you losing by losing that relationship with him? It was worse in my situation to be LONELY with him then to be ALONE without him
and my next question; why aren't you pissed he was so willing and able to walk away from the daily grind of raising a child to do what he wanted? I'm not trying to be harsh..really, it just makes me mad that someone can help make the baby but can't help raise them!!!

deleted_user 02/26/2008

Kidsintow.. raises some good questions. being a new parent is hard on anybody but that doesn't exclude their responsibilities. You can't have only the good without putting up with the bad. He sounds a little selfish. Could it be loneliness speaking now? Either way, you need to give it time. If anything, he needs to proove his worth before you should consider letting him back. He may be gone for good especially if he is doing nothing to correct his ways.

deleted_user 02/26/2008

well, i think you say it all in your first sentence... you DON'T WANT TO let go. That's going to be something you need to come to terms with in order to move forward.

deleted_user 02/26/2008

I want to take back my previous comment, it was too harsh. My apologies.

You have shown incredible strength in looking after yourself and you daughter. Unfortunately, we can't control how others feel or react. I would continue to work hard on yourself and your daughter and give the stbx issue more time to work itself out naturally. Best of luck.

rose3 02/26/2008

You're all right, and I get all of this logically. I guess it's just been an important relationship for me - even considering his selfishness, and it's hard feeling alone with everything. Thanks for your feedback.

kidsintowe03 02/26/2008

it is extremely hard to do it alone!! FOR SURE!! For me, it was easier to concentrate on me and the kids and providing them with a safe and happy life then to live that way with the constant worry or regret. Hugs to you...I know how hard it is

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