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Still So Confused

Elizzy1085
Elizzy1085

So it's been officially 2 months since my break up. I can't believe it's only been 2 months...it seriously feels like it's been 6!!! I'm doing a lot better with getting used to not talking to my ex like i used to, but i'm still struggling with one thing. I never initiate text, he always texts me first but the problem is i respond everytime and this is what i'm struggling with. I'm so worried that he is never going to truly miss me because I always respond whenever he texts me. He usually texts me once a week to tell me he's been thinking about me. Those texts usually piss me off because i don't really see the point in telling me that!! So he's thinking about me, but doesnt want to see me?! It's actaully kind of hurtful when he says that because it ends up getting my hopes up that he'll either start talking to me more, or he'll ask to hang out with me (which he never does). But at the same time i'd would rather get those texts than nothing at all!


We did see each other last week and it was great! We got along so well, the only problem is that we got along as friends!! I didn't feel like he was looking at me in a romantic type of way, which is now making me truly feel like he really only sees me as his friend. I wanna know if i should just not respond to his texts for awhile and see if that ends up scarying him into realizing he could lose me for good, or if that is just too childish and deal with the fact that we are truly just friends now?


I told him a few weeks ago that i didnt mind being friends right now, but that i still cared about him and have feelings for him. I told him that if he ever finds himself feeling like he wants me back to let me know. He said "I understand how you feel, trust me! I will for sure let you know, i promise!" This is exactly what he said to me. He then added, "i just dont want to disappoint you or make you feel bad." He didn't go into detail on what he meant by that statement, but i'm pretty sure it has to do with him maybe not wanting me back ever again.


I find myself still missing him, but nowhere near how i was when we first broke up. He's different in my eyes now, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't want to try with him again.


He's currently in Mexico visiting family and he texted me this past Sunday showing me a photo of a bottle opener he bought for me. He said that he had remembered me telling him i needed an opener and when he saw this one he thought of me. It's and image of a Candy Skull and he know's i loves Candy Skulls. So it's just so confusing when he says stuff like "I was thinking of you" and "this made me think of you". I never say that to a friend, maybe he dose, but I don't. IDK, i know i need to stop overthinking everything he says, but it's hard sometimes.

Crfootball20
Crfootball20
Something definitely that you need to think about. It is really really early for you, i don’t know how long you two dated, but the more time you move the better it gets. You have to move everything away from him, the texts the gift, they’re all ways that keep you thinking and hoping the once relationship can be salvaged, when it’s likely it shouldn’t be. You need to cut contact for some time, at least till you stop having those thoughts about him. As traumatic as it sounds to think of that, it will save you a lot of pain and heart ache in the long run
Esther2259
Esther2259
Hi there, I love the way you are working through your feelings. You already have it figured out, you just needed to be able to vocalize your thoughts, right?

My husband and I are best friends; we trust one another, laugh together, and enjoy each other’s company. I believe that was the foundation for our long-term relationship, it was built on the friendship that we had started.

I hold him in my hand loosely, allow him to enjoy his interests and friendships without fear of what he may be doing, and he does the same for me. We have mutual respect…but, that isn’t all we share. We put our trust in the Lord first. The Lord has never let me down, I know that I can trust Him, and I know that He is always with me. People will fail us, but the Lord will not. I learned a long time ago that when I put all my hope and trust in man, then I am in trouble.

I hope that you can relax and enjoy the friendship you have with this man. Have you considered praying that if he is the right one for you, that the Lord would knit your hearts into a permanent relationship? I wish you the very best.
comply
comply
Your separation is recent, so you can expect to feel uncertain. On the other hand, he is causing your apprehension. Perhaps it is best at this time not to readily return his text? Then ask yourself, what do you expect from him? It seems like you look forward to his text. Is his correspondence giving you a sense of security? On purpose he does not say the things you want to hear. In a way, he is treating you cruelly. Take care of your heart, you deserve peace, not to feel confused.
Elizzy1085
Elizzy1085
Unfortunately I do look forward to his text, but that's because i rarely ever hear from him now, but at the same time I don't because I know his text aren't going to lead to any conversations. We were together for 6 years so of course it's hard to let him go.

I guess I'm just afraid i'll never hear from him again if i don't respond to him. I do know this is what i need because i don't think i'll be able to get him back if i keep being at his beck and call. At the same time tho i feel like he wont even fight to try and get me back if i do go completely silent.