Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
About a month and a half ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years, would have been 7 years on Monday.
Here is a little background info. About a year or two we went through a lot. He is an alcoholic, but he didn't feel that way. He got a dui, went through detox, went through rehab, relapse, ran away to try to kill himself, and went to a pysh. ward. He was in the military and that is what all caused this. I was no angel in this relationship. We didn't have sex a lot because I really have no sex drive. I have very low self-esteem and always have. I would pick stupid fights for no reason sometimes.
My ex and I are still friends. We still love each other and still want to be with each other, its just at this time we can't. Because I'm not in a good place and I don't want to bring how good he has been doing down. I'm seeing someone and working on myself. He is taking new meds and seeing someone. Plus he finally got a job and he has been out of one for a year or so now. He has PTSD from being in the military.
Even through he knows I want to be with him and I know he wants to be with me. He is talking to a new girl. And it hurts a lot. I don't know how to feel about it. I know I can't be angry with him since it was my decision, but it doesn't make it any easier. How do I be okay with it? And with this does this mean we have no future even through we both know we would want to give us another shot sometime?
Here is a little background info. About a year or two we went through a lot. He is an alcoholic, but he didn't feel that way. He got a dui, went through detox, went through rehab, relapse, ran away to try to kill himself, and went to a pysh. ward. He was in the military and that is what all caused this. I was no angel in this relationship. We didn't have sex a lot because I really have no sex drive. I have very low self-esteem and always have. I would pick stupid fights for no reason sometimes.
My ex and I are still friends. We still love each other and still want to be with each other, its just at this time we can't. Because I'm not in a good place and I don't want to bring how good he has been doing down. I'm seeing someone and working on myself. He is taking new meds and seeing someone. Plus he finally got a job and he has been out of one for a year or so now. He has PTSD from being in the military.
Even through he knows I want to be with him and I know he wants to be with me. He is talking to a new girl. And it hurts a lot. I don't know how to feel about it. I know I can't be angry with him since it was my decision, but it doesn't make it any easier. How do I be okay with it? And with this does this mean we have no future even through we both know we would want to give us another shot sometime?
And you're HURT because your original boyfriend is talking to a new girl. Well, that's probably how the guy you are with now will feel when he finds out just how you and your original boyfriend are feeling. Hurts doesn't it.
It's going to sound like a "pat" answer, but YOU taking the steps to better yourself is going to help you in the long run...in SOOOO many healthy, important ways.
I know it hurts he is talking to a new girl...there is no way to just, automatically, feel better about that. I don't have the words to make it feel better except to say that the way you two WERE was not healthy. You both have taken the time to learn..grow...process...and gain insight into how you are individually, and as a partnership.
Don't ever stop learning and growing. Try (and I know this is ay easier said than done) to focus the energy of being upset about his new girl onto yourself and your recovery. In order to be in a relationship with him, or anyone, you need to feel whole, as a person.
I don't believe I offered anything particularly insightful, but I do understand why you are hurting.
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))