I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. All of us here do truly understand. have you sought out counseling? I too cannot control my crying at times. It's really really hard.

Thank you helerown. I'm paying today to not cry. So far its come to the surface a few times but I held the tears off.

One day at a time. Sometimes, one minute at a time.

thanks.

Oh Hullibee...Of course you cry all the time.....we all did for months on end.
I woke up crying and would cry every time I got home.....and everything in between

The crying for me became hysterical and felt like a sword stabbing my heart over and over again

talk talk talk to everyone you can

I promise you over time your crying will become less

But...you are in the middle of the frying pan and it is at its hottest

I went on Effexor and used Lorazepam to sleep

I have to echo Murphy: My marriage fell apart in December 2012, and I cried more in the next six months than I had the entire rest of my life combined.

I know how hollow, empty, and perhaps even inappropriate this will sound right now, but: I promise you that it gets better. It really does. And, for me, I actually feel BETTER about myself than I did before my marriage collapsed. I have been through Hell and back, and I am stronger because of it. Ain't that something? And THAT empowers me even more! I have gone through an absolutely, tremendously awful experience, and I not only "survived," but I flourished!

You can too.

thank you murphy and mrcellephane. I do have a counselor. I see him weekly. Cannot afford sooner.

My big problem is he has refused to sign the divorce papers but still lives with girl friend. My divorce lawyer wants me to send papers back to him so they can be served. I don't know what I am waiting for. He obviously is not changing his mind.

This past weekend I tried to go out with my daughter to dinner and drinks. I was afraid of running into husband and girl friend. I texted him to make sure he wasn't going anywhere in our small town. He went one town over. I got hit on by a few men and all I wanted to do is run. I left at 10:00 because I couldn't stand it any more.

Now I am bothered because he went out with girl friend. All I can think of is him out with her instead of me. Cry, Cry, Cry. How can I get past this image????

I cried for months (still do on occasion) I cried when I went to bed, I cried when I woke up. That eventually lessened to crying on the way to work, all day at work, on the way home from work, then it was just crying on my way to work and on my way home to now just on occasion, when something triggers me ( a memory or thinking I saw his car or him) It really is a sad time of life. I've never cried so much in my entire life. I loved my husband with all of my heart, I gave him every bit of my soul. A part of him will always be in my heart BUT he made his choice and I had to get myself together in order to heal. Not only did I survive, I became a stronger, happier person.
We all will heal but it takes work on our end and time. One day you'll wonder what all of the crying was about......at least I hope to be able to say that in my own situation!!!!! Hugs and Good luck

Only time helps. Don't stay stuck and prolong the pain - serve him and begin healing. It is a long, hard journey and isn't linear, but if you journal and see your counselor, you will be able see general progress in healing over time. I also cried so much when she left me. Eventually my tears ran out and I was just numb for a while, like it was all a dream and just going through the motions of life. Now, I'm doing better. You will too. Hugs.

fantastic words of wisdom from everyone
We can survive!

thank you all.

Today I am not crying. One Day at a Time.

Just read through this thread. I', glad you had a good day hullibee. I found it better when I did not hold back the tears. Overtime it gets better. Some good advice that I got from a member here was to visualize him and her dissolving in the wind or collapsing to dust and then sweep them away every time the thoughts of them come. It works! but you have to keep at. Hobby's and distractions are good too.

I feel your pain. My husband has chosen the OW. Chosen to spend time with her instead of the kids, chosen to bring her to places that we once enjoyed together. It hurts. Bad. But that is his choice and his mistakes. We can't control the choices our husbands make. We just have to try to get through the day. I cry less often now too. Going on three months for me. Some days are bad but I do have some good days mixed in. The advice on here is good. I am going to take it as advice to myself as well since we have similar situations. Hang in there. And if you feel like crying then cry. My therapist said you have to allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling at the time. It's the only way to heal. So embrace it and have a good cry. Embrace it and get mad and scream at the tv. Just embrace it. Soon the emotion you will be feeling will be happiness.

Crying is part of healing and letting it all out. But there is a time when you will stop and move on with your life. I had one good cry. Flashed back on my past life and how I was treated and decided I didn't want that life anymore. He has moved on, you will also move on. One day at a time. This too shall end my child....this too shall end.

Wow I want to cry too. I wish I can cry. I cry everyday on the inside. I also think that crying helps you heal a bit faster. I have shed tears for her twice she the breakup. That was during the first week. Since no tears all the crying is done on the inside. Memories still bombards my brain giving me headaches and making it almost impossible to sleep and participate in my daily activities. I feel for each and everyone. I wish us all a speedy recovery. God bless us. Amen

I'm not crying today, at least not yet. I still think of him all day. I wonder if he thinks about me. Most likely NOT. I just can't get it through my thick head that he chose HER. I feel like he was my best friend, how can he do this to me???

I want to call him, text him, see him. I will stay put and not do any of that. Not today anyway. I cannot predict tomorrow. I just don't know.

I contacted lawyer and told him to hold divorce. I'm just not ready to face it right now. It's been 8 weeks but it is still too fresh. I will probably regret stopping it but I cannot deal with it at this time.

No No...you are right
It is too soon
Give yourself time and space
You need to heal some and regain part of your strength

Divorce can come when YOU are ready