Its been a week since I gave up trying to get her back. I left her a final voicemail and asked her to meet me somewhere to talk and that if she doesn't it means that she doesn't want anything to do with me and that she wants me to completely stop talking to her. She texted me and said that she doesn't think that there is anything to talk about and that she hopes I'm doing well. She said that she thinks it's better if we just stay out of each others lives. After a year and a half of being together I refused to let her just end things with a phone call and a couple texts. I decided to go to her apartment to have some closure and make her tell me to my face. She wasn't very blunt but she did say that she felt like I made her feel too controlled and trapped and that the recent space has made her realize things she couldn't when we were dating. I realized that there is no longer anything else I can do to try and convince her to come back. She's gone and my heart feels like it was stolen, repeatedly stabbed and reinserted. I have reoccuring dreams of us just staring into each other's eyes like we used to. I know I have to give her her space I just want her to know that I'm always still thinking about her and trying my best to work on myself. Finals week is here and I'm not at all prepared but trying my best to pass all of my classes. I find myself on campus hoping she will pass by me. I imagine smelling her scent flowing in the wind and hoping I can get just one more chance to hold her again. I just wish I could know if she's even thinking about me and considering coming back at all. I'm completely in the dark here and she has a monopoly on flashlights. It's kind of ironic because our entire relationship was mostly her getting upset at me even hinting at the idea that we wouldn't always be together. And here I am greiving over the girl who got away. I really hope she's doing the same as me and just focusing on myself instead of trying to distract myself with one night stands or something. Give me strength Daily strength!