I went through this with my first wife. She would refuse to let me have the kids, if for some reason I made her mad when I came to pick them up. One times that it wasn't my weekend to have them, she would call me and have me pick them up because she was going out of state for the weekend with a truck driver friend. This was ongoing till they became teenagers. After they got older, they wanted to stay home because they didn't know anyone in the town where I lived and I worked a lot on Saturdays.

This is something that will have to be worked out between you, her and, the attorneys. I know how this hurts and how frustrating it can be.

Any "extra" time with your children IS a gift.

Why not step up and get your own lawyer to get a parenting plan in place? Get the ball rolling yourself. And not be reactive, be proactive.

Gotta agree with stillbitter--lawyer up and work out a schedule that works for both of you.

It's not uncommon for kids to be used as a means to lash out at stbx. She knows you love the kids and she has been neglecting them so she has to do this to look good.

You did the right thing in leaving. Please don't let her goad you into doing something you'll regret. Might not be a bad idea to take a friend with you as a witness when you pick up the kids.

Sending hugs!!!

I just don't get it. Everything I do are for the kids and what is best for them, but she only sees that I am trying to outdo her. She thinks I am stealing time away from her. All I am doing is to make it easier on the kids.

sorry to hear it. it sounds like she is being immature and trying to cause turmoil for you by using the kiddos as a pawn. because she knows how much you love your kids, she still sees that as a string she can pull to cause upheaval in your life. hopefully you can soon get a parenting plan set into place, so at least you'll have "rules" you both have to follow. unfortunately she still may try to push your buttons but then you'll have guidelines to look to. i know it is hard, but try as much as you can to ignore her childishness, look to it as proof that you are doing right by moving on. your love for your children is the most important, and i know you already know that. big hugs to you!!! :)

I agree with above posters, to have an attorney draw up a temporary visitation schedule, so that you both have certain days and times with the kids. My STBX and I did this, and it has been working pretty well. I also allow him to see the kids on "my" days, if I get enough notice, and if I don't already have plans with them. I know with kids' sports, schedules can get tough, because the games fall on irregular dates and times. If you are concerned your STBX will not take your son to baseball or whatever activities that you usually handle, you can have something written into the agreement that the STBX has to take the kids to activities on her days and be timely. (More likely than not, she'll allow you to continue to take them yourself).

I don't have kids so I am on the outside looking in, but my thought is that it's a waste of time to even TRY to understand an ex, children or no children.

Good job in getting out of there before your anger got to you. If it were me anytime she passed the kids to me on her time I would respond like she was giving me an "expensive gift" as stillbitter said extra time is a gift and I would act as so, because she will be the one losing out especially if she makes a habit of this. just look at it that she is shooting herself in the foot with her relationship with her kids. Oh and I notice you like to say "we're not even divorced yet" I think you should just start to consider yourself divorced you seem to be holding on to still being married and the rules still apply, they obviously don't for her I think if you start to let go of the Idea of your still married you might not get so angry over her action's. just a thought anyway, stay strong buddy..

I think no matter whether you are the parent living with the kids or the parent visiting the kids, any time with them is a gift. I am fortunate in that my daughter is 16 and can make choices about when and where she will spend time with her father, but I know that he and I don't always see eye to eye, so we are requesting a temporary parenting plan until the divorce and final parenting plan are finalized. We also have an understanding that text messages that go without a reply are not to be considered binding. In this case, we have to make actual phone, email, or text TWO-WAY contact. Since there is no way of knowing if she is deliberately not responding, in order to keep the kids from you, then you should definitely have an actual parenting plan in place from the court. Unfortunately, the other party is not always mature enough or trustworthy enough to rely on anything but a court order. Wishing you the best!

Ok, I'm gonna get real a minute:

Who gives a f*ck if she is trying to "outdo you"? Honestly, so what? Bottom line: You stated you CANNOT be around her.

One: You got physical with each other
Two: This is,at least, thesecond post you had to refer to her with a derogatory term.

Obviously, y'all are toxic.

You either make it difficult, or you don't. It's THAT easy. You choose to make it just as hard as she does. She said, "You should've asked me" You say, "I did, check your text"...did you wait for a confirmation?

You guys will be coparents the REST of your lives. Get a parenting plan in place, make it legal, PERIOD.

And, if you "have to get out of there before you did something stupid" then, you need to check yourself, dude. If you have that much rage over something trivial, then address that.

I don't get why people make easy shit as hard as possible. Put your personal feelings aside, and be a father FIRST.

TTMI is right.

If it's -as you claim- all about the kids you should be able to keep your anger in check.

If you don't get a response to a message, assume that it hasn't been received or read.

Tttmi, I really appreciate the bluntness and have you ever with someone that being with them is very toxic and no matter what you do you still get aggrevated and there is no way of avoiding it. I try to be calm and only talk about logistics.
It is easy to be a monday morning quarterback.

Nice dig at TTMI.

So have you made an effort to get a legal parenting plan in place or are you deciding to let her handle everything so you can continue to play the victim?

(See? I can dig too).

Did you even read what I wrote or just like reading in to things?