Hmm. Best thing is to probably start over. LOL.

You can view it several different ways. Instead of "start over" why not... "free". To do as you please when you please.

I concur that getting to know someone else from scratch is a loathing thought, however, it could be that you aren't anywhere near ready to do that... so why worry about it? Sounds like there's a lot of you to work on before you get to launch thinking about the "next" thing.

PS. Get a punching bag that isn't sentient. That will guarantee no encounters with the authorities.

women really aren't worth the trouble after you have done this gig a few times. too much money and way too much drama. they seem to never be happy no matter what you do.

screw it. there's always baseball and beer and sports bars.

Don't forget fly-fishing Verne......never forget fly-fishing. I agree with you......I give up on women.

How do you start over? You don't. At least not right now. Right now is about getting out of bed, right now is about slogging through another day wounded and in grief, right now is survival mode. Maybe down the road some of those attitudes will slowly change. If others don't like the fact that you're not ready to start over, well... too bad. By the way, it's same thing with the "move on" and "let go" and all the other catch phrases that are so easy to say and so hard to do when the grief is so new and strong.

The way I see it, it's difficult for you to "start over" right now because you haven't even got to the starting line yet. You are going through so many conflicting and intense emotions, so how can anyone possibly think you are ready to "start" anything? Maybe once you sort through everything, deal with the depression, and can look at your divorce without breaking down- maybe then you can begin to think about starting over.

For now, just try to get through a day at a time, an hour at a time, or even a minute at a time if that's what it takes. The only person who gets to dictate when you "start over" is you.

NW, thanks for the fly fishing idea. i've always wanted to learn to fly fish.

Lisa, I meant no offense to any specific women. If i run across a needle in a haystack and actually think that the woman is worth such impossible odds, i might ask her out.

until then, there's plenty of other things to life besides women.

Wow Verne386! Not all woman have no morals or dignity or values. Maybe just the ones you are coming around with that attitude.

Or maybe just at that sports bar.. Go to another one. :-P

Said in my sarcastic voice..

Actually I love my Cardinals Baseball and drinking a cold one while watching and I have saved more money by not being in a relationship with a man but that's just my side of it. ;)
As for drama, no thanks. It comes with either sex, my opinion.

For the original poster, backing up and regrouping is very hard. I have taken time off from even attempting to date to just figure out what I want out of life and work on me. I feel like if you don't do this, and you have any bitterness or negativity from past relationships, well your going to drag that into any new relationship. No thanks. Also, any self-esteem issues, depression, etc, needs to be dealt with beforehand as well. Just my opinion.
I wish you the very best and I hope you find some happiness and peace.

I think just "starting over", in terms of dating, when being so new to divorce, isn't a hot idea. I think a lot of people (mostly the men I've met, but I'm sure women too) think if they jump right into something new, then it takes away the pain of the old.

Stop. Breathe, Allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to just "be". Tiny pieces of you will fall into place, and grow to create this new man, with new interests, etc. It will all come together.

It's good you recognize you are emotionally down right now, and have low self-esteem...a lot of men will date like that, and that's entirely too much baggage for the man, and the potential partner, to work through.