Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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aloneandafraid 10/18/2016

Hello all,

I new to the board and my spouse left last Friday after a nasty fight. We had been arguing for weeks about how he said his feelings have changed and he was not coming home at the same times as before. When I would push him to communicate he would get defensive and angry. In turn I would get emotional and things would blow up from there. My kids are 23, 20 and 16 and they are sad and angry and feel it is my fault. My son blew up at me and left with his dad and his dad dropped him off at his moms and stayed with his "friend" for the next few days with no commication with him. I am feel lost alon and unloved. My question is how is it so easy to walk away? Should I wait and watch or get an attorney? Any advice is appreciated!

aloneandafraid 10/18/2016

Please anyone?

STex 10/18/2016

I'm sorry for what you are going through. My wife of 25 years said she no longer loved me. Don't really have any advice, just taking it minute by minute right now. Hang in there, everyone says the pain will eventually subside.

mirandac 10/18/2016

Personally i would talk to a therapist to
Help guide you and give you some direction.
Many times we can not see very clearly.

You could contact a lawyer to get some
information, its good To know your rights
and responsibilities if Things do progress
further and he is having an affair. HUGS

aloneandafraid 10/18/2016

Thanks so much! My children and I are so hurt and confused. He was having financial issues and Blamed that for his distance. Now the kids and I are struggling and he is only conserned with his own wants and needs. I feel we were just tossed aside and yet I still love him

Nereid 10/18/2016

alone: You can do this. I felt like this when my first husband left. He left me for someone else and lied about it. Actually, he was never honest about it. But it was obvious (they ended up living together). I moved out and held onto hope for about a year and then I realized I'd just spent a year without him and I had lived more that year than I had in a really long time. real growth happened that year. It wasn't easy (had a baby at the time) but I got through it and you can too.

jojored 10/19/2016

Hummm, his lack of communication is a key indicator that things will not get better. He's not taking responsibility for his part in the relationship by blaming finances on his "distance" - that's a cop-out. That, and he's already moved on with someone else. If this is the second time he's left, please don't allow this pattern to continue where you take him back, things are better for awhile, then he leaves a third time.

None of us are perfect, but I'm finding that I have about zero chance of ever communicating about significant issues with my stbx, despite trying every avenue I could think of. It was ironic that during marriage counseling I saw the counselor try to employ some of the same communication tactics that I had tried - and she failed too. He just can't communicate.

It's sad that your kids are upset and put the blame on you, but they don't need to know the "whys" of why you're broken up again. Just keep them out of the drama. I think it's time to start looking out for you and the kids. It's a long haul, but with insight (therapy, education) you can get through this and start leading a more peaceful life.

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