I'm sorry, my son does the same. Remember that your son is young, and in love.

Please remember that girls come and go, but a mom is there forever.

Yes. You will always be his mother but he is 26 yrs old and it is normal for him to spend time with his girlfriend. Realize he is not rejecting you, but moving forward with his life.

Sounds like the issue really is that you are lonely. Have you thought about starting to date yourself?

Wow, the truth hurts, yes, I am very lonely,and took it out on my son, so wrong. Lori, you are so right, he SHOULD be with his girlfriend, at 26 yrs old, it is my issue. I wish I had a date.

i think it's hard for a mom when her son is growing up, especially when you are lonely. my ex's mom used to get really upset when he would come home from college and spend the night at my house. we both missed him and he had to divide his time. he tried to balance it by bringing me to family dinners and stuff. maybe next time when she invites you, say yes. you don't have to be lonely, you can lean on both of them. is she a nice girl? try to get to know her better, and her family. maybe you can use this to your advantage to meet new companions.

just try to remind yourself that he isn't trying to reject you.. he's probably just trying to balance his time with you and his girlfriend. she may end up being the one for him.. you never know. hopefully she is a nice girl and you can try to spend more time with both of them. but i would have a talk with you son and ask him to set aside a night for just the two of you once in a while.

hope you feel better!

As your children get older they start to carve out their own lives and don't need you as much. They will always love you but they do have their own lives to live. It is up to you to do the same as you are the only one who has control over your own happiness. Do things that interest you or like suggested above go out for companionship it may be the boost you need. We all have to move on even if we didn't choose this hell. I wish you the best. HUGS

He should have is own life but you're his mother. All the things u'v done for him growing up. . . .ungrateful #@*!. Sorry. . .just tellin' u how I feel (not that u asked). I can't believe this kid. . . if knows the pain u'r in u should be his first priority. This is why I'll never have kids. When they split up 'n he's cryin' his eyes out 'n comes to u for support remind him of this shit. Selfish #@*! Sorry, but that's my take on that. . .not sugar coatin' this one with positivity. . .

hairhelmet, i see what you are saying and i think he should have invited her, not the girlfriend. but, making assumptions that they will split up, and saying he is ungrateful and selfish. i don't agree with those things. maybe he really does love this girl and maybe they wont split up, and he wanted to spend his birthday with her.. he has he right to that. he should also be there for his mother, but i wouldn't call him selfish or ungrateful.

he shouldn't have to pick and choose, there should be a healthy balance.

I have two sons, 20 and 21. WE shared an apartment for a while after the split with their dad. Kicked my oldest one out for some toughlove reasons (God, it hurt!!!!) and my youngest recently moved in with some friends. I didn't spend their birthdays with them this year but last year, we celebrated them with cake. Honestly, I would be surprised if last Christmas will be the last time we can get together to do traditional things. At their age, I had spent a few Christmases and my birthdays away from home. I have the empty nest thing going on now and miss them so much! They are spreading their wings and I admit that I could be really clingy. Fortunately, I don't mind going into a restaurant without a companion. That is something you may think about working on. No one is out there judging you if you don't have one cuz they are doing their own thing. Just some food for thought, no pun intended.

I just reread your post, and see that it's with HER family. I'm surprised you were not invited to the dinner. Maybe they thought you would not be comfortable? (no date)

I understand why you felt sad. At first I thought he and GF had a dinner date with just the two of them....and then I read it again.

You should have have accepted her invitation. Maybe your son didn't invite you, since it was the GF and family hosting the dinner party.

Next time, say YES! We have to take risks, sometimes. I'm sure it would be better to feel awkward at first, than stay home and feel sad.

Great comments, my son did mention that I need to meet the future "in-laws" sometime. What am I taking away from these post comments, is walk with your head held up high, shoulders back, even though you are walking into a family function alone. Ugh, the company Christmas party and no one to go with, an older woman walking in alone, are you guys sure?

Yes, I'm sure. I do most everything alone and it is normal these days :) In fact, people are attracted to others with self confidence, and nothing beats going somewhere alone in tems of self confidence as long as you strut your stuff with class.

You won't be the only single person, right? Do you have a good friend to accompany you to the Christmas party?


If I need a "date", I always ask my sister. I have more fun with her, than I did with my husband. :)

It's hard to let go of children. They do have to live their own lives at some point. Hopefully, he has been supportive of what you are going through. This was just one night, albeit his birthday. It sounds like you were the one that refused to go because you wouldn't be "escorted". What should have been more important? Your son's birthday party or you being alone? Being alone is a hard pill to swallow, but it sounds like that is how it is going to be. Please don't miss another one of your son's occasions. That will only hurt him more in the long run. It's 2010! No one is looking at whom has a husband or a date or is alone.

I have not told my mother happy birthday for 31 years now. The last 3 I lived with her.