Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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namaste02 10/17/2011

My son came home with his "agenda" on Friday. Our schools here give the students their own personal planners to write down all of their homework assignments, and parents have to sign and return the agenda each day.

I read his agenda, and at the top it says "daddy's address"

i asked him what he had written down. He said his teacher asked him to send in his fathers address for school. Im not sure why she needs it...the only thing I can think of is that perhaps the kids are doing some sort of Veterans Day project or something.

I DONT have one. I dont have an address for him when he is on US soil, and I certainly dont have one for him being deployed to Afghanistan right now. HE chooses to have little to nothing to do with my son, and that is his choice. I have SOLE custody, his father contacts him by phone every few months or so (deployed or home) and only sees him once per year.

Anyways, I sent an email to his teacher simply stating that I was sorry, but didnt have an address. Truthfully, its rather embarrassing that I cant give her such a simple answer.

Does anyone else have this same issue?

deleted_user 10/17/2011

Honestly, she overstepped her bounds. I am sure your sons file at school is clearly marked that you have sole custody. Had she accquainted herself with your sons academic record, she would know this.

You do not owe her any explaination. I think you handled it fine.

Actually, I think she owes your son an apology for putting him in an uncomfortable position.

lovingmyselfirst 10/17/2011

why embarrassing? i would feel embarrassed if it was your fault. but this is completely beyond your control; if anything, i would feel sad for your son, he is the one who really matters in your story....you are doing an awesome job raising him by yourself, so, truly, you are both, mom and dad in one. next time, i would send the teacher your same address......pat yourself in the back....

deleted_user 10/17/2011

I remember those books with my daughters. Now it is all computerized. I found out after we were divorced that the x put her name and address to be contacted first and then her mother. I changed that really fast.

deleted_user 10/17/2011

You'd be surprised how many students don't have an address or phone number or have even met their other parent.

Hell, I have students who don't know where either parent is.

It may be embarrassing, but it's not that uncommon.

Your son's blessed he has a mom that cares for and nurtures him as much as you do.

deleted_user 10/17/2011

I was a teacher for 6 years and she absolutely should have been more sensitive. I can only imagine that she's either a new teacher or an idiot. And honestly, she's the one that should be embarrassed! I agree with Starbucks, she definitely owes you an apology. You could take the opportunity to educate her a little and remind her that not everyone comes from a cookie cutter family and rather than assuming they do, she should proceed with caution and compassion next time. Maybe send a letter home that the kids are doing a project on (blank) and that they need the address of an influential, positive male in their lives.

Misred 10/17/2011

Look at this as an opportunity to open this teachers eyes up to real life. Not all families are intact. I remember once my Dad called wanting my sisters phone number. She had just moved and had not contacted me with it. He got shitty and and made a rude comment about my not having my own sister's phone number. Shows what a jerk he is...he is her father and didn't have it. I don't know why I'm rambling...I guess I'm just saying people say and do stupid things because they live in some sort of bubble. Pop her bubble LOL, but do it with kindness. I think with your email you have already done that. Or you could say he moves often and any mail could be sent to you in care of.

As far as embarrassment. Sometimes I hate calling my EXH my EX. So I say my children's father. I don't know why, but I think it sounds better.

patti22 10/17/2011

I absolutely refuse to sign those adgenda books, or any of their homework, tests, or any of the other stuff either. Quite frankly, they can't make me, and I don't have to give any explaination.

They often want the addresses for their records. For the other stuff, I tell my kids to make up a name, address....whatever.

Quite frankly my kids have to read, write, etc, more for me than they do for the school....and it all makes paperwork for me that I don't need.

PLUS....it's THEIR homework....and their responsibility to get it done. And I'm sure as heck not going to sign something to get them out of trouble for not getting their work done. Really really wrong message in my book....

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