Wow. I know and you that you really need to move on from this guy because something else is going on with him. I have the feeling that to him, you were just a temporary companion, nothing more, nothing less and now that he has moved on, you're basically invisible.

I know this has to hurt like hell but my friend, you need to let go just as he has. I miss my wife too but I know that she has moved on and I'm trying to the same.

Maybe someone else can give you better words of encouragement or advice but that's what I see from your post. Good luck.

Hi She: It seems you have put this man in control of your life, instead of you driving the vehicle called your life. Spending money you don't have to see him isn't a good idea and it would have been better for him to come see you--but maybe you already had the vibe he wouldn't do that??? Maybe you were desperate??

I am so glad he has deleted you and blocked you because you didn't have the ability to do it for yourself and you needed to do it for yourself. He did you a huge favor. This was someone who was apparently so awful to you but you couldn't cut him out of your life and you can't stop with him now. Don't waste time on people who treat you bad.

There is an author of "He's just not that into you" and here's some of that to try to help you:

http://mishyang.tumblr.com/post/421484830/hes-just-not-that-into-you

Hi Sheemee...certain parts of that really resonate with me, especially the part about him treating you shitty yet you still wanting to be his friend and you still caring for him. I felt that way too. I think we want that and cling to that thought b/c in the least we think we can't bare to be w/o this person and this is at least a way to keep them in our lives. For me, in time, that need has passed.

LDR's are hard in general, but I think it's part of human nature to expect certain things and no doubt you had expectations about the direction you guys were headed and he has blow it all to shit with his behavior and actions. LDR's are even harder b/c you aren't in their actual day-to-day life and you don't really get to see what is truly going on. His actions and attitude suggest something more is going on that you aren't aware of, possibly another relationship.

I think as much as your heart is still involved, that you should use your thinking cap right now and listen to the messages he is sending you and hear them deeply. He has shown his true self, please see that.

I understand how much it hurts to feel emotionally shredded and deceived by someone you love(d). It hurts like hell and there is no pain like heart pain, but I think in time you will see that this man is a complete asshole and he probably wasn't the person he purported himself to be at all. And for that, I am very sorry for you. Assholes are dime a dozen, but there are good men out there. He isn't one of them. Please know that and grieve how you need to, but realize that you are worth so much more than what he has put you through. ((hugs))

I don't know the circumstances of your relationship other than what I have read in your post. I must say however, that I am not surprised this happened to you. I do not say that to be mean. I say that because in many, many cases, long term relationships do not last.

Many can make promises and use sweet phrases to make one feel wanted and loved. Some men and also, so women can be chamileons and be and act exactly like we want them to be but, sooner or later, the real person shows through.

If this man truly loved you, he could not shut you out of his life like he has. If you could check his dating record, you would probably find out that this is a pattern he has and you are not the first. I am very sorry that his happened to you. Regardless of what we do or say, we cannot make someone truly love us. This must come from their heart, not ours. I wish you the best and hope you can put this behind you and move on to the happiness you desire and deserve in life.

What happened that caused such a drastic change in his behavior and attitude toward you?

Hi Sheemee!
Sorry to hear about your grief caused by wanting someone to love you like you loved them. I am in the same boat. My grief is crippling me. I haven't been sleeping, but about 4 hours a night. I have only been eating about 1000 calories a day if that. I wake up sick to my stomach thinking about her and trying to understand why she doesn't want to love me and put effort into trying to make things work.

I have been reading Eckhart Tolle's book about living in the now. I also started reading the letting go book by Beattie something or other. The information in them is helping give me little 30 second reprieves here and there from the heartache.

I have also written down some positive affirmations about myself that I read each morning. And a list of the reasons she should not be in my life anymore. Reading them seems to ease the pain for a couple of minutes. Lastly, I ride my exercise bike every night for 30 minutes....the physical pain seems to be the most effective thing to take my mind off her.

Anyway, sorry again you are feeling so down. I am right there with ya you are definitely NOT alone...
Sending you big super warm squeezy huggs!!
:)

I'm afraid I've been in a similar situation.

I think that sometimes we hold on because we don't want to admit to ourselves that the person is less than we thought, because that means that there's a failure on our part, whether of judgment or perception, or whatever. If we love someone we want to believe he or she is as good as we think, and finding out the opposite is incredibly hard to take.

My situation isn't entirely the same; it was my choice to sever ties and let go because it was hurting me not to. But I only did so because he was controlling the relationship and I knew it wouldn't work the way things were. One day I will probably look back and be grateful to have backed away but for now it aches and like you, I'm waiting for the day when I feel better.

Thank you all for your kind words. Heart ache is so hard, and sometimes feels like you arent going to survive (but you do) so having all your thoughts and well wishes means a lot.
Shine14 I dont know what brought on the sudden change, we would sometimes fight and he could be nasty when we fought but once he calmed down we'd be okay, I flew over to England to see him in, and everything was fine up until the first night I was there, he got pissed off over reacted over something that I didnt think was big deal, its kind of personal to go into but he flipped out then when he apologized I was still upset, crying, I didnt have my lap top and my phone didnt have service, I was upset and wanted to talk to family or friends and he was so pissed at me he wouldnt let me use his computer, or give me the wifi number so my phone would work, eventually he did let me use his laptop and I got on facebook to talk to a friend, not even about the fight I just wanted to talk to someone, I was crying and really upset he continued to bitch at me and eventually I cried myself to sleep, I woke up the next day wanting to put it behind us and just move on and he was pissed and being really rude snappy to me cuz I didnt immediately get over it when he apologized..........this was my second full day there and he treated me shitty all day well into the night. He got better after we met up with his friends at the mall but right up until they got there he was being nasty. I really dont know what was wrong why he was so drastically different, it was really like night and day. He had been the nicest guy I had ever met.......when he was here and we were together it was the best time of my life so I was so excited and happy about going to see him cuz I thought its going to be another great time in my life, and he was soooo different. People I've told all think the same thing that he met someone else but if he did meet someone else it had to have been while I was on the plane ride over to see him cuz up until I got there we were okay. There s so much more that happened each day while I was there it seemed everything I did pissed him off, I dont drink pop he bitched at me about that, I fell asleep in the car he bitched at me about that, he was completely different...we eventually had a huge blow out, I ended up telling him how I had tried to contact the airport to change my ticket to go home early and once he found out I had tried but was unable to do it that seem to be a reality check that I was serious about leaving, after that he was better and it was like how we were, but once I got home I just couldnt shake how awful he was to me those first few days, the fact i flew all that way, spent all that money, and for him to be like that I just couldnt get over it and he didnt seem to care anymore. Sorry for such a long response.

And thank you for the suggested reading, I've been doing a lot of reading about how to deal with break ups, it seems to help to read and get ideas of things to do when it gets really hard. I know eventually it ll get better, but I think deep down inside I m holding out hope he'll want to talk to me or something..........and I know I shouldnt want to speak with him, I shouldnt care about someone who treated me so badly...............its an endless cycle.

I remember feeling like you when my ex and first separated. Rose-colored glasses prevented me from seeing the "signs" and" red flags".

FAst forward to now, a few years out of my divorce, and the very things that were reasons I divorced him are still incredibly prevalent. He hadn't changed at all...but rather, was always what he was and I ignored it.

A few days ago my ex had a convo with me and the strange thing is a bout a week ago, I had told my family of changes and decisions and I anticpated he would make soon. During that convo with me, he literally stated several decisions that i had just "called" about him.

I was so right it was ridiculous...but it also showed, they can spruce themselves up, look pretty and say the right things...but the bottom line is, a leopard doesn't chance its spots.

When more time has passed, and you realize that the "asshole" side he is showing is probably who he really is, you will feel immense relief.

I am sorry for your pain. Sometimes betrayal can inflict serious, emotional pain. You think that the person you are involved with is being honest with you, and you try to take them at face value. The more you care about the other person, you often let your guard down, and become vulnerable to unexpected cruelty. There is a karma in the universe, and everything done by an individual will return, both positive, and negative. Try to be strong, and heal. Allow yourself to start over, and use this negative experience to protect yourself from getting hurt again in a similar fashion. Spiritreader!

Thank you TTMI729 you give me hope, I look forward to the day when I can look at this whole experience and be thankful that things worked out the way they did. I think once I'm out of it after more time has past I'll look at it without the rose colored glasses and probably will see things personality traits that I ignored, love makes us so blind!!
And thank you too spiritreader I think of karma and then I think hoping or thinking you hope what goes around comes around is that bad for my karma to hope he some day feels how he has made me feel??? I've thought a few times I hope he falls in love and when it doesnt work out she trreats him as though he doesnt exist............but wanting or hoping this happens to him is probably not good for my soul, I dont concentrate on it I just think of it every now and then.

So sorry - I guess we all or most of us deal w/someone who's not right for us at some point in our lives - a toxic relationship. It's tough at first and I think most feel frustrated like you do now and what I am going to say won't make sense right now b/c it didn't for me when I was where you are now - BUT TIME WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS. You can take some steps to assist TIME - like go no contact, keep yourself occupied, etc, etc. I'll share what didn't help me and perhaps you want to take note - DO NOT BEG, DO NOT REACH OUT, DO NOT ACT DESPERATE. It tends to do the opposite of whatever it is that we seek by doing this and in the end we feel worst.

Stay strong - get some rest - being sad takes a lot of energy. Get out there slowly and start living again. Just b/c a relationship it's over doesn't mean life is.

Thank you milliejay, I'm going to keep coming back to this board and re reading all of your advice and well wishes, it really means a lot to be able to talk about it with people that arent so close, cuz friends and family although they try to be helpful sometimes are too close to give you what you really need to hear. So thank you all again this has really helped, when you re going thru heart ache its easy to feel like you're the only person who s ever felt this way, but you all sharing with me and knowing exactly what I'm going through gives me hope :)