better the betrayal comes to light,
it is likely that she was calculating in the relationship all along, thus betraying you daily

Sorry you are having a tough day! It will get better!
Hugs to you!

Sorry Murphy. It has been about 2 months and a week for the separation for us and it sucks. Not to be rude hell I was hoping for this horrible status/feelings to go away a lot sooner then a year and half. I know I am crazy right. I have talked to people and it has been years and things still come up that make them sad/mad/your name it.....

Once again I don't give advice I just hope for the best for all of us. I wish all of us weren't in this living hell!!! Take care

Thank you everyone for all your support

kbbcoop, we have house and assets and more to sort out before divorce can happen...just trying to get through it all til it's done

Then bye bye for good

Ahhh I see I thought that it had already happened.
Good luck to ya! Take care you'll make it especially after contact can be really reeled in or stopped completely if possible after the divorce is final. Take care!

Bitter sweet day for me. Had lunch with my parents in my beautiful hometown, San Francisco to celebrate their 46th wedding anniversary. The 2 hour drive home alone really punched me in the gut.

Hey Murphy, sorry to see you down.

its a shitty situation to be in.

I wish you peace soon.

thank you chitown

So sorry you're hurting, Murph. And there are lots of times that I think the way you have posted, that he is much happier without me and that he never thinks of me or misses me. But I suspect the truth is probably more complicated than that.

After 3.5 years, I still have times of deep pain but, I must admit, it is getting better/easier. I don't expect that I will be "over" it, exactly. I liken it to going through a bad car accident that leaves some scars and maybe an injury that goes on hurting. I think it has changed my life and that "normal" that I used to know no longer exists. I know even writing that hurts and it probably hurts you to read it, but stick with me.

The nature of human beings is to adapt. That is what our greatest survival tool is - we don't have claws or great jumping skills or all those other things that other animals have but we adapt. I am adapting. My life is assuming a new normal. The times of pain don't last as long - maybe an hour or two instead of all night long. I still have a cry now and then but not to the point where it feels like my eyes are going to bleed out of my head. You WILL get there, in your own time and at your own pace.

There is, sadly, no shortcut. You can do lots to shorten the journey but I found there have been lots of times when I just didn't have the energy or will to do those things. I've needed to accept that. When I have the focus (or sometimes the help of others), lots of really challenging physical exertion helps, whatever form it takes. And if I'm not up to that, just taking a gentle walk helps. Petting my cat and hearing his purr helps. Listening to recorded books helps - more than reading because, with the ear buds in there, I am less easily distracted from the book. Puttering around the house while I listen helps. And it also helps on those nights when I lie in bed and think too much.

One of the hardest, hardest things about being left is that it leaves one feeling SO worthless, so disposable - at least it did to me. Please, Murphy, you really must fight against those feelings. That way lies madness. I would advise you to try to think, every day, maybe a few times a day, to think of something you have done that is good, no matter how small it is, or something about you that you like - AND resist the urge to follow up this thought with "yeah but......" If you need help, ask a trusted friend or see a counsellor. Believing that you are worthless is like a 10-ton weight laying on your heart. Do whatever is necessary to dislodge that.

I'll be thinking of you and sending you good thoughts and hugs - I wish I could ease your pain, even just a little. Take care.

OMG Chatoyant
Thank you for your wonderful words and all your energy and time into what you said
I will listen to you and take notice.

I do believe that things will get better.....I will adapt

Letting go is the hardest part

Grieving takes so long

worthless and disposable sum it up so perfectly

and bless my kitties for their love and comfort

I am so fortunate to have such great support from loving friends and family

Hi Murphy, we're with you on this journey. no matter how long it takes, and no matter how many days are rough, we're by your side. family, and friends, always will be there, and here for you.
my best wishes, wishing you comfort, and peace.

thank you Chris...you are a great man

hey Murphy, hope you're ok bro. :) keep your chin up. just checking in, to see how you are. my best wishes, every day.