Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So it has been 7 months now that I been separated. And today I’m just finally over it and ready to move the hell on. I know a majority of my hurt is because I allowed it and to a point still am. I still talk to him every now and then, if he short on money and tell me he will pay it back I give it to him, and when he comes banging on my door I allow him in. I guess I was doing it all before because I had hopes of us getting back together despite the fact that he left me and less than a month moved in with his girlfriend. But I guess I thought if he still reaches out it’s because he cares still, right?? Well just last month he tells me he fucked up and got her pregnant. So I told him that’s it I’m done like that was a slice to my throat. But now he calling my best friend venting to her, came to my house unannounced 3 times in one day and sat in his car and the last time I didn’t answer my phone so he comes banging on my door like a crazy person. Telling me he so depressed and he was drinking and smoking weed and had a gun to his head. He even accused me of having a guy in my house saying that when he was sitting in his car he saw he leave out my door. I live in an apartment anyone goes down the stairs I haven’t brought anyone to my house. Like he is acting like someone who was dumped and still in love. I guess the reality of it all is hitting him that he lost someone good.
I know how hard it is to walk away or stop being there for someone you saw spending your ENTIRE life with. Everyone tells you, you shouldn't do this or you shouldn't do that but its hard to turn your back on them. I'm struggling with this now ( with my bf....I've been over my ex husband for years). I fell in love deeper and harder with my bf than I ever did with ny ex husband. But now we aren't together and I've gotten so much advice about breaking my ties not helping him anymore and all that but it's almost impossible to do that with your heart so connected. When they come to you its the closest you can get to having.them back. I have no anger towards my bf we actually get along for the most part which makes it so hard no to still love him with everything I have.
BUT.......I don't hold any judgements for your decisions I get it....totally I get it!!!!!! Keep talking to people, keep reaching (only to those who will support you) don't live one day at a time, I had to live by the moment. If I made it one moment without a total breakdown. I could breath then the next moment. Sometimes those moments lasted for 5 mins then I crashed. Then when I was done I focused on surviving past that next noment. Each day got better and some days I would have a set back. I cried, screamed and begged God alot to take the pain away. I wished I was dead so many times and seriously wanted to happen. I am slowlt coming back. I am giving myself permission and time to grieve to be depressed and hurt but I also give myself permission to begin healing. One tiny baby step at a time. Sometimes that healing is moving off the couch where.I've been for 2 days or actually eating some food even if its 2 crakcers and some juice. Ive begun to spend more and more time with God...alone just us. i have my war room. Sometimes all I do in there is cry.
Please don't stop moving forward. I need you to because although I don't know you, your strength (and others on here) help me so much when I read their posts. i hope I am that for them.
Just keep living in that moment" survive that moment and things will get better
Please recognize you are strong you have survived 7 months of these and I'm sure you are stronger today than you were 7 months ago. Keep pushing, keep surviving until you get to a point where you start living. I need you to because when I read your ( or anyone on here) progress it gives me hope.
It's not crazy that you still want him and your relationship to work. I do that all the time. We love strong and hard and we fight just as hard. We aren't punks and we don't give up easily. BUT we have to let God's will be done and in that He will always give us exactly what we need. I know that's all cliche but it's so true. Btw you are strong because you were able to set some clear, healthy boundaries with a man your heart still longs for. That's difficult only a strong person can do that.
Question - are your kids his too? Regardless, please stop lending him money. Kids come first. He's a grown ass man, he has to take care of himself. And pay you back what you loaned him too!
Although we have been through some issues but I pray God gives this another chance and we get married one day. And if I we are given a chance Im gonna jump on it like a lion on a wounded gazelle!!!! And I don't carw what anyone thinks or feel. I love this man with everything I have and if we can be......man I ain't letting that chance pass me!!!!