Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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alexm99 11/29/2016

its been 100 days since my girl friend of 5 years broke my heart Into a million little pieces. It started after we got into a yelling match after a party. I've never been a huge party type of guy I have always loved just relaxing me and her. I love talking to her one on one it just felt peaceful. She always wanted me to go out to bars and go to clubs with her but that was never me.

I love to read I love to learn and I love the library and coffee shops. But I never changed her and never asked her to change and all I asked was for her to never ask me to change. She cheated on me the first few months when we were together. I forgave her but never fully trusted her afterwards it was hard. I still loved her but always questioned if she was telling the truth. But, after things were great. We spent ever moment together. We loved Each other to the point that no one else existed. Lost contact with all my friends and even my family to be honest. But for 3 years we were madly in love. It was the love that no matter what happened that day her voice healed it all. We always said to never stop fighting for each other; no matter how hard it gets.

I did everything for her even if it negatively affected me. But she was not like that. She never understood how to help people. Our big fights. I never put her in situations she felt uncomfortable, i always thought of her no matter what. If she needed someone thing that meant I needed something. But, she grew up differently she was spoiled, only child, got everything she ever wanted. She never understood that it affected me when she never thought about my feelings or emotions. Fast forward to our 4 th year, we argued a lot we fight almost once a day. Mostly dumb couple stuff but I still love her to death. When I hold her my heart feels at peace my mind relaxes and my body feels at ease. We talked about fixing our fighting and it improved. We started talking about kids and marriage and our future and my stupid mistake was I planned it all out in my head as well. You guys I had it all planned out. How many guys do you know spend there free times searching rings, and best ideas for marriage proposals. Like I loved her I would have given my life for this women. After that stupid fight she left. She blocked me and my whole family and said she wanted out, and didn't want to be with me anymore. We were different people but I couldn't imagine my life without her. She just drop me no calls no text just cold turkey no communication and only got worse when I try to communicate with her. I just couldn't understand how she could do this

It has been so hard every day I'm depressed or sad or angry or frustrated. I never knew what depression felt like until she broke my heart. First month I never left my bed shut the lights off and blocked everybody and just cried for days and days. Everybody in my family tried but they eventually all gave up. I couldn't shake her I loved her so much I didn't want go on. I planned so much with her I just couldn't believe she would destroy it all. The second month everything just got worse my whole world was just falling and it started with her. The third month nothing changed even though I prayed every single day that this month be different and even though I haven't spoken to her for over hundred days I thought this month would be different. It wasn't it was the same pain as Day one nothing changed. Nothing has changed guys I still miss her hair, her smell, her mind , her thoughts and her love. I can't move on. I tried so much.

imiru 11/29/2016

And your gonna keep missing her, I know it hurts like hell and you wish it would just hurry up so you can find peace but the sad truth is your gonna keep feeling this way for who knows how long. But I can promise you it will get better, I absolutely promise this however it wont get better magically. You have to put forth the effort to make some painful changes. For starters, if there is anything of hers at your place get rid of it. Burn it, throw it away, give it away whatever it takes to be rid of anything that can spark a memory. If the place your living at just has too many memories when you walk into a room you may want to think about moving for a fresh start. Also, get back into contact with family, friends, whoever you know you can trust to let you vent about this till its out of your system. I know its not much to help but its a start, plus you can keep a journal to write down every time you have an unwanted memory of her so that its in your journal and not swimming around in your head all day everyday.

alexm99 11/29/2016

Thank you. I really am trying so hard, I'm not sure how it got this bad in life. I miss her so much even after the way she treated me I would run back to her in a heart beat. It's sad but it's true. I have tossed all her things away and deleted all of our photos. The pain I have is so deep I'm not sure if I can climb out of it without being destructive in my life . Anger, depression, pushing everyone away, destroying relationships, destroying job prospects. I can't help it I wear my heart on my sleeve always have. I just want her out of my head and want the pain and sadness to stop. It's eating me alive. Sleep is the only thing that helps me escape my thoughts.

imiru 11/30/2016

You should take time to learn to control your emotions better. I know thats the last thing you want to hear but if you know that your actively pushing people and job opportunities away because of your emotions, its time to take a look at yourself a bit closer and take the time to change. I'm a naturally emotional person especially when I lose someone. It gets hard for me to let things go because my brain is constantly trying to think of ways I could have done better. All you can do is keep reassuring yourself that you did all you could, You're not the one that left she did. And you have to train your brain to slowly let it all fade away so you can stop hurting.

alexm99 11/30/2016

Im trying so very hard.. it's not easy when you invest so much with someone and one day it's gone. All these emotions I just feel like I can't control anymore. I honestly just feel like I'm drowning. I just want to scream at her and tell her WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. I'm trying very hard even started meditating. But the sadness and anger won't leave me. I can admit I'm stuck, idk how the he'll to get out of it.

imiru 11/30/2016

your taking steps to get better, I'd say that's a great start. However what hurts the most is, now that your not together, she doesn't owe you anything. Not an explanation or even her time and that's the worst truth but the same goes for her. You don't owe her a damn thing and you don't need to waste your time proving anything to her. Do you have anyone you can vent to about all of this? I often helps to have someone to call or be around.

alexm99 11/30/2016

I know but what sucks is I would never do this to her. I guess I forgot that people could be this cold. I don't really have anyone to vent to. I focused my life on her really kinda pushed other people away. My family has never really been there for me, even before this situation. It has turned me into a cold person. I don't laugh, I don't smile, I'm just a bitter sad person now.

I understand she doesn't owe me anything it was just expected. I'm learning though I can only rely on myself. I'm in a shitty place by myself. My friends and family don't really care and I don't blame them it's been so long since I've talked to some of my old friends.

jimthzz 11/30/2016

I think you were way more invested in her emotionally than she was in you. This is not necessarily a criticism of your involvement level--but it wasn't what she wanted out of life. I think you may have overwhelmed her.

You deserve to have someone in your life that thinks and acts similar to yourself.

Learn from this experience and move on. Maybe not get so invested in the next girl, nobody can be everything to another person. Cultivate friendships and reconnect with old friends and relatives.

Don't give up.

thiscantbeit 11/30/2016

I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. I completely understand the way you feel. This is a difficult thing to deal with. And as much as we may want this pain and turmoil to be over, it' s not something that goes away overnight. Not when you've invested so much of yourself into it. Trust me, I wish this would magically go away. I'm learning in this time that the only way to get through this is to go through it. No short cuts or temporary fixes. Love is a powerful, beautiful, awful thing. The pain of heartbreak is unlike any other and now we are left to figure out what life will look like moving forward. Even when you think you're not doing it, you are. EVERYDAY. You have made it this far. It will be difficult and draining. But we have to believe that it will get better. All I can do is bring my heartache to God daily regardless of what I may think or feel. This is tough but I have to be tougher. You have to be tougher. We all can relate in some way. I'm here with you as I'm sure others will say the same. And maybe this being a virtual space doesn't bring much comfort but know that you are not alone. *Bear Hug*

alexm99 12/01/2016

I just alway thought you were suppose to be invested 110% in the girl of you dreams. Maybe it was too many Hollywood movies and plays. But, yeah I feel just so dumb and used. Like this relationship really meant nothing to her. But, your right I just have to go through it. I just have go through it. I have to be sad and depressed and stop trying to not feel that. But it's hard cause I know it's killing me so much,but there is nothing else I can do I just have to let her go. I always told her if something happened I would fight for her but It didn't work out that way.

Bailey478 12/02/2016

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess.
Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best.
And remember.. Everything is going to be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

alexm99 12/03/2016

Thank you, your right everything will be okay. I'm starting to see that. Love can really destroy people.

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