Well...I'm not sure that someone over the internet can answer those questions for you. Depressed/angry/anxious because he's having an affair, would be quite different than being depressed/angry/anxious because he came home late on Friday. In between those two extremes, is a whole lot of ground to work through.

You might start with a reality check on your life outside of the marriage. How are your relationships with the other people in your life? Do you get angry with the checkout boy? Do you find it hard to get out of bed? That sort of thing? If so...then perhaps starting with your family doctor.

If the issue is a buildup of some things...perhaps marriage counseling?

And then there are other times when it IS time to leave.

My point is...that from what limited info you've written..that it's hard to say.

I don't know the whole story but it sounds like what my ex was saying to me.. I wish I had gone to therapy long before I actually did, when I did go I realized how much gaslighting was happening.

Has it crossed your mind to actually go to a Mental Health physician like a Psychiatrist or Psychologist and see what they think? Just a thought.

Is it rational that every single thing thats wrong in your life is because of your husband, your marriage or his fault.....No.

Does that automatically mean you should stay married...No.

Does it sound like your thinking clearly enough to make that decision....No.

Go see a Professional and get the right help with the situation.

Hi,

I believe that it's time for both of you to stop feeling like you have nothing left in the tanks to offer your marriage just what it really deserves. And it's not irrational to want to leave in a hurry, because when something feels very wrong we all want to get away quickly.

I say that each of you try for a rematch.

Seems like there is a barrage of criticism over who is at fault and how to fix it will take homework and research too, by both of you. And it would be nice if we all had this shiny, happy surface on top of marriage (not the case though, never is); however marriage is a shared area and we are not always arranging our performances in an organized way; we mess up! So the goal for both of you is to come up with a useful arrangement of plans suitable for sharing your space together respectively. And you each can do this with, without manipulation, by experimenting in a variety of new ways, just use your observation with what works for your relationship, and focus less on the drama center of strong issues. Surely there is something(s) you prefer to be involved in together which brings on happier feelings and better thoughts.

I say keep trying. And professional help is a good idea.

Many hugs!

I was in your shoes or similar shoes. So many people say to try counseling, seek help, work harder on your marriage. I will never offer that advice! Ever!! I will never tell anyone to continue to beat a dead horse over and over and over again. To continue trying to fix something that's broken beyond repair.
I pictured/daydreamed/fantasied about a happier life for years before i finally found the strength to leave. But i finally left!!! And i'm happier then i've ever been in my life!
I have a blog, that i recently started, with my story and how i found the strength to finally walk away, repair the damage within me from the years of living with a man with addiction and mental health issues.. and my now, my happiness and how my past still threatens it while i continue to repair my damage.
If you would like to check it out.. Its 'Lemons to Lemonade Blog' on Facebook.
I actually have a post in the works about how i will never offer the advice to stay in a miserable marriage because it was the worse advice i ever received!

I would recommend just separation before official proceeding to divorce, only to make sure that you truly do want to be away from him. If you go straight for the divorce, you may find later that you do truly love him and regret it.

I agree with most of the comments above. I would really check my own heart/mind/health before making a serious decision as divorce. Sometimes we are not able to think clearly if we have something else going on.

Hi friends, Thanks for all the advice and support!
Just to address the mental health issue: I've been under psychiatric and therapy care since I was 16. So that's all been addressed.
I'm still with my husband, but am currently looking much more seriously into moving out of state.
Thanks again.