Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Today was our court ordered mediation. The stbx fired her second atty and showed up alone. I had my atty draw up what I consider a generous settlement, with alimony and child support just less than half my take home pay, and if she would get a minimum wage job she would end up with more monthly income than I. I went into this with little hope of settlement - I mean we never agreed on anything, so why would we now?
The mediatior spoke with her first, and she came in close, an offer not that far from where I was. I was amazed. We discussed it, and asked for a couple of things to be changed. The mediator went back to her, and an hour and a half later came back with a completely different and uncacceptable request. Basically she was asking for 85% of my earnings, leaving me with not enough for rent, food, rxs, gas, anything. It was unbelievable. Mt atty and the mediator both said they had never seen anything like this before.
So, no settlement. I was actually optimistic after her 1st offer, as the mediator said she could write it up, take it to the juege, and the divorce would have been final, over, done, right this second. But instead, now, court trial. The sxtbx will have to undergo depositions, employment evaluation, custody evaluation (along with me and my 14 yo daughter), and she will probably end up close to where we were at the first offer. Except this time I will seek and by God's grace get full custody of our daughter.
And the saga continues...
The mediatior spoke with her first, and she came in close, an offer not that far from where I was. I was amazed. We discussed it, and asked for a couple of things to be changed. The mediator went back to her, and an hour and a half later came back with a completely different and uncacceptable request. Basically she was asking for 85% of my earnings, leaving me with not enough for rent, food, rxs, gas, anything. It was unbelievable. Mt atty and the mediator both said they had never seen anything like this before.
So, no settlement. I was actually optimistic after her 1st offer, as the mediator said she could write it up, take it to the juege, and the divorce would have been final, over, done, right this second. But instead, now, court trial. The sxtbx will have to undergo depositions, employment evaluation, custody evaluation (along with me and my 14 yo daughter), and she will probably end up close to where we were at the first offer. Except this time I will seek and by God's grace get full custody of our daughter.
And the saga continues...
theres no splainin stupid
He brought nothing material or financial into our marriage except for bad credit, a 30 year old pick up truck and the clothes that had mostly been donated to him after he lost everything in a trailer fire.
I had a fully furnished house, car, medical insurance, and immaculate credit. Can you guess what happened?
Now I'm carrying $40,000 extra on my mortgage after refinancing to cover joint credit debt.
I also continue to carry a balance on another credit card for $4,000 worth of income tax debt that he incurred from the photography business that he started while we were married.
I cashed in a $50,000 retirement account to cover more credit card debt and pay off a car loan for a new car he talked me into that we couldn't afford. I was forced to do that because he quit his job to start his previously mentioned photography business and I was having trouble supporting all of us, including making his child support payements to his daughter for him. I lost half of that $50,000 in penetalies when I withdrew it.
I relied on him to keep up termite maintenance on my home (because he's an exterminator) and now my home is visibly termite damaged so I'll have to make extensive repairs in order to sell it.
I've continued to provide him with a car, free of charge since we separated almost 2 years ago. I just renewed the car tags for him a week ago.
I've also continued to provide him with medical insurance coverage since we separated because he has type 2 diabetes, sleep apnea, and high blood pressure (but he reimburses me for the premium I have to pay each month ).
He has not paid one penny toward any of the joint debts since he moved out... including the mortgage. I have paid thousands in interest alone over the last 2 years.
My hope in going to mediation is that he will simply sign the paperwork, take my car, and go away. As of right now, he wants a big, fat settlement check in the amount of $12,000. And of course, to leave me with all the debt. He claims that this is "more than fair" and "incredibly generous".
I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.
So sorry that you'll have to go to trial. Try to nail her with the attorney fees and court costs. This is totally unnecessary.
Hugs!