Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ugh I want to go to his facebook page and see what he's been up to, and see who is posting on his walls. WHY DO I WANT TO TORTURE MYSELF THAT WAY!!!!???? I know I'm writing on here a lot, and I'm sorry, but I'm doing it to keep busy and keep myself from stalking him on facebook.
Don't hurt yourself by looking, what good can come from it? The best scenario is there is no activity, and if you were to see a picture or a post you would probably not be able to stop thinking about it and it would set you back. Stay strong!
and pay the price
if you resist
no one will blame you if you can't
but you will learn it only sets you backwards in your grief
I know the pain, frustration and confusions that can be swirled up inside us when we break down one more time, grab the mouse, do a couple "point and clicks" and tada we're looking at our ex's Facebook page, regardless of being blocked or not, we're still there looking.
I'm just as guilty of this, my ex-fianc broke up with me back on July-19-2014 and wasn't able to fly back to Ohio until August-3-2014, days after her arrival back home and was once again living with parents, I started to get curious at first, thinking that it was all innocent "I'll just take a quick peek, what will that hurt. But as the days progressed my innocent little looks became an obsession. So days of this turned to weeks, at about the 3 week mark of doing this I was a full blown cyber stalker who was continuing to do so, even through the harsh pain and anger that the action brought upon me. It was so painful, but yet continuing to do so, that if I think about it now, I became one of those people that like to take their shirt off, get chained up by the arms to the wall, have some sort of dark demonic dominatrix behind me with a whip and every time their whipped they say "thank you, may I have another"!
Sorry for the dramtic example, but that's kind of what it was coming down to. I knew looking at her Facebook was going to hurt and sting me, but I continued to do so, my mind knew it to be wrong, but my heart only knew what it wanted, and even if looking at her Facebook was to bring me pain, the heart didn't care! Even through the pain and hurt and frustrations my heart only knew what it wanted, it just wanted to feel like a little piece of her was still here, and looking at Facebook for a while brought my heart that sensation that she wasn't truly gone..........I think they call it "denial"!
So one day, sometime early in the month of September of 2014, I once again woke up, turned on my computer and after grabbing a cup of coffee I sat there and "did it again"! This time was different, perhaps my mind was over riding my heart and I told myself that I was going to go insane if I kept this up. Through my tears and my heart feeling like it was going to pound out of my chest, I came to the realization that this wasn't working for me anymore. So with my hands shaking and my mind racing and my heart pounding I made the choice to end it all. I pointed and clicked my way into the user control panel, found the "delete account" option, and with a very heavy heart I felt my right pointer finger press down, I felt the little spring under the button go "click" and as I came off the button there was a confirmation message from Facebook that my account had been now deleted.
I have now been Facebook free for around 7 months, do I miss it, sure, sometimes I really miss talking to family on it, or talking to near and dear friends. But eventually I found other means to maintain contact with those most important to me, Facebook was no longer required to "stay in touch"!
Blocking is great, it can help, but in my case it wasn't a strong enough deterrent, I had to go all the way and get rid of it all together.
But know BrooklynnMB your not alone, a lot of us have had the Facebook issue! Some suspend their accounts for a while and that works, some just use the block and it works, but for some all that won;t work and for some, we have to delete. Whatever works for you I wish you the best in luck choosing.
I agree with the other's here "don't do it"! Stay strong, fight the urges, fight the compulsions, and more important fight the temptations! Find something else to do as a distraction of the time of the temptations!
Your not alone and we are all here for you!
please.. it wont make you feel better whether things are going well or not. If you break that rule of not going by and checking, you will never stop doing it.
Another thing I want to do but know that I should not, is facebook message the girl that he went on a date with on last Wed. and tell her he's a cheating bastard who was still with me when he went on a date with her. Just so he knows that he lied to her. He told her he was single! He was not!!! Ahh. I know messaging her would be dumb but I want to, so she knows he was with me when he went on a date with her... but what good will that do? Will it even keep her from liking him? Or will she just think I'm a psycho and ignore me. And I know he would not appreciate it. Monday, the first day after the break up was bad, yesterday was better, and now today is a little better than Monday but worse than yesterday.. Ugh
I've had a woman message me and I'll tell you what I thought of that...I thought the woman was a very sad, pathetic, and jealous woman. I felt bad for her, actually. I paid her no mind and went about my day.
You don't want anyone thinking of you that way...you are NONE of those things! You are a strong woman who is above this.
No, messaging her will serve to do nothing but cause all sorts of drama. Block him and move on. I mean, of course, come and vent if it prevents you from contacting him or any other woman but definitely stay off the Facebook if you can't trust yourself not to contact him, stalk him, or contact his women.