Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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gdecker658 10/17/2010

I have been married for 10 years to my high school boyfriend we have been through so much together. He has had 3 affairs and is very mad with money witch caused me to lose my car . I have forgiven everything because I love him and he would beg me not to leave him said he would die without me. Well 3 weeks ago he left ME said he needs space I don't know what to do I'm going crazy I know his no good for me but my heart is breaking I'm trying not to fall apart because I have an 8 year old boy. I haven't been able to sleep all I do is cry at night I hurt so bad. I'm soo angry how can this happen to me I'm a good person I hate him right now how can he do this to me after everything I've done for him. He is so happy while I'm falling apart. Everyone says it will get better but when I don't think I can take anymore.

deleted_user 10/17/2010

Those beginning weeks and months are bad. Really bad. I hope you find some comfort knowing that most of us on this board have been there and it WILL pass. You WILL feel better. Right now you are grieving and that's okay. Focus on your immediate needs and your son, for the time being. You will be okay.

Hugs for you.

totallychaotic247 10/17/2010

You can take more. YOU can handle this. You have to for your child. Even if it's only for your child for now, it will be for you with time. Don't smack me lol. I hated hearing that. Try to eat, sleep, and just take care of you and your child. Do what you can to get through the days and nights. I'm sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us. Hugs to you!

melanie3 10/17/2010

I know what you are going through. My relationship and marriage of 17 yrs has just ended over another women. Everyone keeps telling me I will get through it, but you don't feel like you will. Every minute of the day he is going through my mind. I cry, can't sleep, or eat. You don't know witch way to turn. My heart goes out to you. I still love my husband and want him back, but I have to stop and think he is no good for me or our children. I'm hoping that being able to talk to people here will help get me through these tough times and I hope it will for you to. You are in my thoughts. I know it's hard to be strong right now. But you will get stronger as the days go bye.

deleted_user 10/17/2010

See when one works hard to keep the relationship, and other always keeps his/her option open, will hurt.... It is like a you work n a project from your heart and soul and project failed. It hurts. So now you has a sane person need to think, is this porject worth working on, should you spend one more oz of energy to keep it alive or to deal with it , when he crawls back, which he will.

Only YOU can stop this, otherwise he got w sweet deal in you, who always takes him back... So your feelings have no value...

So let him go, go through all the steps of moving on your life without him. I know it is hard, I am still going through it... But I have a made a concious decision to do that, for my children and me....

Best wishes

deleted_user 10/17/2010

I think we have all been there. It is so hard to make yourself do what you know you must do, i.e. eat, get out of the house. Allow yourself time to cry but also make yourself care for you. You can do this. You will be stronger than ever on the other side. Hugs

gdecker658 10/17/2010

Thank you all for your advise there are days I do ok but there are days like today that I feel I'm dieing inside that I want to sleep and not wake up and everyone around can't seem to shut up about their husbands and the last thing I want to hear is someone talking about is how wonderful their relationship is :-).

deleted_user 10/17/2010

I know what you mean about people talking about their spouses. Watching romance on TV is hard too. At first, i didn't want to be around my family because they had spouses. I am sorry.

lori47 10/17/2010

Sending you hugs. Yes, it does hurt. But stay out of that marriage. Hire an atty and get a divorce. He has cheated 3x already. Probably cheating for the 4th time. When they want "space" that is generally the case. Yes, the pain is bad. My heart has been shattered so I do know where you are coming from.

But pain does slowly (way too slowly) get better. All I know is that I am over 3 mths into this split and I wouldn't want to have to go thru this again....and you will if you reconcile. Get counseling. Ask your doctor for meds to help you. I didn't for almost 3 mths and I look back and realize i could have made it easier on myself if I had of gotten meds to help me with the anxiety/depression/sleep issues.

hurtinandhealin2560 10/17/2010

Hi gdecker,

I'm glad you've found DS, a place to vent and find healing.

I remember those feelings so well. In the beginning of my separation, I could barely eat, couldn't sleep through the night, etc. All the same things that most people go through.

I am adding a link here that you might find helpful. Keep talking to us here--we will walk the journey with you.

Sending loads of hugs! Stay strong.

Here's the link:

http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/2816539-manual
This is a manual we members of DS compiled for new members just starting the breakup/divorce process. Lots of good advice, support, caring. Check it out so you can start healing.

deleted_user 10/17/2010

that is emotional torture. To have to repeatedly deal with someones infidelity. Im sorry. Im going through my second divorce and today was all tears. No matter what kind of divorce your going through there will be pain. If you expect it -- then you can handle it better. It's such a confusing -lost time the hurt is there --but if im here and the rest of these people are here.. that means im definitely not on my own. Its helpful to know I don't have to be the only one going through this like it sometimes feels. You deserve better and you must know this inside.

Karenhopeful 10/18/2010

Sorry for your pain.

During the first few weeks after the end of my marriage, I experienced more grief and sorrow than i knew I could express much less endure. I thought it would never end.

It does get better...not finished...but the intense despair and sorrow does ease. One day at a time.....don't lose hope.

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