I'm a big proponent for no contact, but each circumstance is different. If there have been betrayals and there is no working it out, then no contact is best. You will only keep yourself stuck by having contact with him.

Also, just for the record, you don't need agree to go NC. Your post the other day, you were so sad and hurt. You guys have already tried to work it out, and couldn't. As much as your hurting, and it sucks ass big time, I would do everything I could to move on. I do know how you feel, though, because if the guy who just dumped me tried to contact me, I'd struggle to keep from responding, even though I know it would be the best thing for me. Honestly, I'd probably respond and beg him to change his mind, making a fool of myself, but that is just me. Part of me prays he does contact me (my heart), but another part prays to God he doesn't (my brain). You need to think long and hard about responding and the consequences and outcome before you do.

Its like a hand in the cookie jar. So very temping, but you know the outcome is only a very temporary satisfaction. My thoughts are he feels guilty about leaving the relationship so is trying to kiss up to make himself feel better. Or perhaps in a perfect world he did see your facebook and having fun with friends and not moping around and got a little jelous you were not doing the latter.

Keep it NC, it will just set you back but regardless it will drive you bonkers wondering. Its going to probably drive him bonkers though for you not to chase him. Check out Corey wayne on Youtube. He has some good insight on why relationships start to crumble and the best approach to either fixing it, or moving on in the best fashion.

Ive been broken up with a woman I dated for 4 months after feeling we were not compatable for long term coupling and asked her to give us another shot and she said no. I deleted all contact info/emails/hid pics and that leaves me the ability to not contact her. If she contacts me then I will have to cross that bridge.

Happy healing friend!

I've been there and I know how our hearts betray us and skips a beat just by the sight of a text. That being said I don't think it's wise to answer him, if he's just asking about your weekend there might some hidden agenda behind that innocent question, but if you do reply, take your time so you don't go way overboard with info and long texts, play it cool, neither nice nor cold, he musn't be able to figure out you're still hurting.

due to the roller coaster and back-and-forth with you all for years, especially seeing all that's gone one with you and you being so upset over the course of this past year, i would say:

do not answer him.
block him.
go full No contact.

it's up to you, but this cycle is just gonna keep going, as long as you stay in any sort of contact with him. it's up to you.

Reply #3 said what I wanted to say. Don't text back, and it was most likely jealousy or possessiveness that motivated that text, or possibly a desire to alleviate guilt. Selfish reasons. I'm sorry it's making your heart skip a beat. I've been there many times myself. Staying no-contact is the best favor you can do for yourself, and block him from the phone so you don't get another text.

It's hard to say without knowing the history of the relationship. But I am a big believer in saying it like it is. Stop for a second and think with your brain instead of your heart. Now your brain knows what your heart wants so it isn't like your brain is going to do a good job of representing your heart. However, your brain is going to think logically and it will represent what is best and what is most healthy for you. Your brain is there for you protection and will lead you into the best scenario for what is best for you. If you brain feels texting him is healthy and the right thing to do. Then text him back. However, tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him that your heart skipped a beat but at the same time you have concerns about whatever..... Look for signs of him wanting to head down a healthy path as well. Look for his responsibility, his honor, character and integrity. Look for signs of foul play and protect yourself. There are a million guys out there that you can be with if you are not with him.

My Ex would do that

i would read so much meaning into it

and she would say ...doesn't mean anything

just saying Hi

UGH

I learnt...but can still react that it means more.. than the nothing, that is behind it from her

Me Connection....Her..No connection

Nope, nada, nfw

uh-uh, no, nfw

NFW

there is no "we" for you to ever consider anymore

i'm sorry, it is painful, the sooner you accept NFW, the more it will hurt and the sooner you will start to heal
no bullshit in that

text him and linger in the state you are in drifting in agony

Refurb is effing right

I would just delete that message and go my own merry ways. I know how badly you want to do this, but you are only setting yourself up for more heartache. I wish that I followed my own advice years ago. Did the same thing and lived to regret it. Hugs

Sounds like he is manipulating you. He knows you will feel something when he texts. Stick to your NC. Refurb is right. Contact will just reopen the wound.

Thanks everyone! I am starting to feel better!

There's a lot of assumptions from total opposite ends of the spectrum as to why he is contacting you. I think I even read someone say he has put you through a lot for a long time or the history of ... something... I thought this was the dude you met and briefly dated, got intimate with and then he wept, ruminating over his ex and ended it and you havent heard from him since, no? That was like a week or two ago, right?

If so, thats what my response is written towards and possibly why I dont think his "how was your weekend" is anything of a big deal but him reaching out to you, for whatever reason. but it doesn't matter why, for whatever reason, he had you on his mind and is reaching out because of it. Probably why he wrote "how was your weekend?" It was a passive way to get contact with you so to fill whatever need he is needing to fill right now.

This is the first time since his confession of love for his ex where he has reached out right?

Who knows how the conversation will go, or where it will lead. To be honest, I think you will respond at some point, regardless. Maybe even just out of curiosity with a little hope mixed in. I am sure many of us, including those who posted to this thread, would have, did our would respond again. I know I have and probably would as well. I have great relationships / friendships with most I have dated before my ex and a couple after, outside of like two. Im a "leave the door unlocked" kind of guy.

So if .. or should I say, when you do, don't labour over it. Do it, satisfy that need in yourself to respond and move on from there. Because I guess what matters is that if you respond, you can not do so with the "hope" in mind and / or heart that it will lead to ANYTHING. (not yelling just emphasizing), because it probably will not. It may even make you feel better if you can take it at face value, for what it possibly is, a simple "hey".

oh shoot, wrong thread.

where is that edit button.

SORRY! :)

In your case, yeh, I would delete the message. You've been good, stay that way. It could be possibly leaving you feel higher and even better then you even had.

Stay strong.