Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I left my abusive ex for someone that treats me like a queen and truly loves me. Due to the abuse I felt I was unable to stand up for myself and my self esteem was smeared on the floor. Now that I'm no longer with him I feel so liberated and I feel like I can do a lot of things but I'm still trying to build my self-esteem after 11 yrs of verbal, psychological and emotional abuse. of about 5 years of that I also suffered sexual harassment at the hands of his brother and now I feel I want to tell him because I feel it's a huge load load I could get off my chest. I felt humiliated, scared, degraded and horrible when he would put his hands on me and I would tell him no. I didn't know how to get him to stop after telling him no and that it wasn't right time after time. I never told my ex because I didn't want to cause a rift between them or make an extremely awkward situation. The brother of my ex is married with 3 girls that I love. I suffered a lot and I was scared to be alone with him and avoided him as much as I could but he kept pursuing me. Now that I'm out of that family's lives I feel I need to dump this guilt off me. Should I tell my ex what his brother did? I don't want to cause any problems but I feel I need to tell. Please tell me what you think I should do. Thank you.
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Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
Also consider talking to the person who really needs to know about the abusive behavior- you former sister in law.
This is just my opinion. I do not know your whole story. I do not know the legalities either, but in my experience, taking action to resolve an issue rather than just airing/venting, produces more healing.
I am keeping you in my prayers.
Whether you choose to pursue the legal options you have is up to your but, it will boil down to proving it and unless others witnessed it, that may be difficult to prove. Another thing to consider is, what damage will this do to the 3 girls you say you love.
Anyway you look at this, it is not an easy thing to deal with. As I said, it it were me, I would concentrate on the new relationship you have, the goals you wish to pursue and let the muck of the past, just dry up/ Just my 2 cents worth.
I agree with the others: telling your ex probably won't help. He likely will not believe you, and pressing charges means you need evidence to back up what you're saying. If it boils down to "he said/she said" likely nothing will come of it.
I would strongly recommend you contact a sexual assualt hot line or support group. You were a victim of a sexual crime and need someone to talk to about this. A support group like this will give you good guidance on how to heal.
Sending hugs!