I think that is inappropriate, especially in that kind of longer type of relationship. If it was me I try to get her other friends more closer to her age. Even here I feel uncomfortable talking to anyone young, and have talked on forums due to someone young wanting to kill herself, or himself, but would be uncomfortable prolonging any kind of relationship, and prefer she talked to younger friends.

My question is what are the circumstances of why he is talking to her in the first place, i mean I understand if there was crisis, and he was trying to help, but if it is generalized talking, and entertainment only than yeah. hmm

Suspected predators? What has he done to get that, even a suspicion? You have to be careful, because even a libel, to slanderous remark of this nature could really hurt someone bad. You have not indicated any details of anything inappropriate of what they were talking about, nothing sexual in nature etc. Even though i think it might not be wise that he speaking to a 15 year old, I would not jump the gun without some kind of proof first.

It is really hard to know, because you really have not given much context to why he is talking to her, on what kind of site, or if it is just gaming, and in the public chat etc? I mean I have talked to all kinds of people all the time when I game, but it is never inappropriate with miners, but of course I have played with them, talked to them,but it was about gaming, because frankly I do not have a choice. I wish I did quite honestly, cause they can be little brat trolls at times and annoying especially when their parents are not around watching them, swearing like sailors. LOL

I was a school bus driver. I talked to all kinds of kids on all kinds of things, but nothing bad, and was also the Masonic Safety ID Chairman, which the client was primally kids, so it depends on the context, and the reason for it?

I would also be careful of spying as well, because the key log thing you can get into trouble for that, depending on the laws in your state, plus immorally it is just wrong if there is not much evidence of a suspicion to spy on your husband. What did he say when you confronted him?

I just would like more information on all of this to understand what is happening here?

Thank you all for the advice and support. Aquarius, I wouldn't have minded at all if it was during a game. It's the fact that he private messaged her (he initiated the conversation) and they continued to talk for two days. I could only see his sent messages, but he talked a lot about his military service. I've noticed that's something he tends to bring up right away around pretty girls- he really plays up the whole macho factor.

Not much really twists me up anymore... but this is a hot topic for me.

Yeah, I would report this in a second. I'm with #11 1000%. There's no logical reason a man has to be having a private conversation with a 15 year old girl. I don't give a shit if he's a vet. This is waaaay off the grid.

Report what MSgtD? We might not think it is right, or appropriate, but correct me if I am wrong, but it is also not against the law is it? He definitely should be confronted, but report it? To who?

Oh THAT'S a good idea. Challenge MSgtD. That always goes well.

Report to their lawyer for sure, if they're at that stage.

There is NO reason to keep a 15 year old girl abreast of his whereabouts and day to day activities. An ADULT and a CHILD who have no familial relationship have no need to converse, unless she's asking if he wants fries with his order.

I like to make informed decisions. Invading his privacy is the least of the issues here, you need to protect your children. Perhaps from him but also from the police crashing into your house terrifying the children if he is caught and arrested talking to minors.

I would get a key logger (Brickhouse Security) and use it to get some truth immediately. They are untraceable, unless your husband is a super computer geek. Yes, I have used them before. And I'm not sorry either. #1 - protect your kids #2 - be certain if he is just being stupid 'this one time' (PTSD? eh) or if he has been up to no good. If its a one time stupid thing you wouldn't want to ruin the mans lilfe over it. That would hurt the kids also.

Get some facts before you do anything and then make informed decisions from there. Hugs, thats a sucky place to be.

stillbitterjaded, I in no way said it WAS appropriate, I said to confront him, and find out more information, but to involve the police, as I said as far as i know he is not breaking any laws YET, that is all I am saying. As Allscars said ruin a man's life by that, without really knowing what is going on, and kid's?

The problem is many people get way too paranoid, and people get hurt in the process. i have seen it happen, innocent people get hurt. I am just saying to be be careful that is all. because once that label is put on, wether the person did anything wrong, it sticks forever.

Just like Allscars said.I also said check with your state for laws on keylogging as well to protect yourself.

Some information on the controversy on key logging.

http://jolt.law.harvard.edu/digest/software/federal-and-state-wiretap-act-regulation-of-keyloggers-in-the-workplace

Even at work they are suppose to tell their employees to keep them out of court. Since you both own the compute, it might be a fine line. but as I said just confront him first, and maybe even ask him to see the whole chat, and tell him that it is NOT ok to be talking to this child like this.

If you both own and use that computer then you cannot be charged with putting a keyblogger on it. Can always say you were watching out for your kids. But in reality, if you put one on the computer you would probably know within a week what you need to know. Then remove it, do what you have to do. And I'm sorry but when you are talking about possible child abuse, coercing, etc. I wouldn't give a damn about putting the blogger on there!! Any Judge would see it clearly

It is very simple to install one, and uninstall it too. Brickhouse Security has a great support center and they can walk you through it. (No, I don't work for them, lol, I've just used them). Very easy to settle your fears, dear. Find out the facts before torturiing yourself with 'what ifs'.

And really, if he MIGHT be coercing young girls do you really think he's just going to fess up with confronting him? NOT I'm all for being honest in life, but in dealing with situations like this you gotta step up, be brave and do what cha gotta do

The problem is he IS a super computer geek. I'm not sure if he would think to check for a keylogger- and those only track info that comes after they're installed, right? I'm guessing he's probably being extra careful right now, as he probably is suspicious that I'll be checking on him. Ugggh. The more I think about it, I'm not sure I could handle it. If I saw him talking to a minor, and especially if it was inappropriate, I would feel vindicated. I would know that my main reason for wanting a divorce was a solid one, that he is a dangerous man, and I would contact the authorities and feel good that I may have saved a young girl. But if it's someone of age- and something tells me there is- he's acting so differently lately- well, that blows my whole protective bubble that I'm living in right now (I'm really going out of my way to avoid friends and family because I just can't deal with thinking about what he's up to since he's left.) If I did contact authorities, I wonder if they would investigate or say I'm wasting their time. And how would they investigate? Would they have their own way of checking the computer, or require my cooperation by having me install the keylogger? But at least maybe they'd be reading the results, instead of me, and they would only notify me if he was doing something inappropriate, right? I suppose I could call and ask what they thought, if this is worth reporting or not. Head spinning! Oh yeah- he took the laptop with him, but I think i could convince him to let me borrow it by saying I have to do a blog post (a lot of my info is only on the laptop.)

Hi Knarfia: You know he lies, so you can pretty well guarantee that he will not stop lying to you.

He is undoubtedly covering his tracks very carefully now because you caught him. So expect that he is fully passworded and even using another drive that is off the laptop so if you were to ask for the laptop, you wouldn't find anything. He's way ahead of you at this point.

This isn't something that you can confront him with or talk him out of or love him out of, because this is another situation he kept hidden from you, he has proved that he lies, and there is nothing you can do, it has to be him and all him and you can't do it for him. If he is a predator, that is not curable and they remain predators for the rest of their lives.

Fine.

Don't report it. Get the kids name, and contact her parents. Unless she's "mystery girl" on the internet, who could for all intents and purposes could be a 70 year old guy.

What is on the other side of the computer is irrelevant, it's his INTENT I have issue with.

Yanno, if you aren't guilty of shit, you have nothing to worry about. In this particular case, I would rather accuse 10 innocent people to get the one who is guilty, as opposed to letting the guilty one slide.