you dont really have anything to report to authorities that I can tell but you do have to look at your husbands behavior for as long as u have known him and determine if this has ever really been an issue concerning young girls. like going out of his way to help out the girl scouts........volunteering in places where young girls will be available...just suspicious behavior such as this. i would definitelty investigate but remain aware that some people who are older and talking to minors are actually trying to be mentors and better their lives. You have to look at whatever evidence you see and gain your conclussion to have any resolve

Hi there: Right now you have no evidence of wrongdoing to take to authorities, although morally I believe your husband is bankrupt. He's hanging out where predators hang out and he's acting like a predator does. Not good moves for an adult.

If you put in keylogging and find no legal wrongdoing, it will be an invasion of his privacy and he'll be upset. I don't know if you are prepared for him being upset in that event. If you put in keylogging and find he is doing legal wrongdoing, would you report it to the police or FBI OR would you be too afraid of what it might do to your name and your family to actually report it and instead you just divorce him? You're the only one that can really answer the questions and make the decision. If you can't report him if you found wrongdoing, then doing do it.

Personally, I would have thrown his butt out the door when I found out about the 15 year old. He knew it wasn't right and he's the adult.

I was concerned originally that he did not tell you about the 15 year old until you found out yourself. If he had been doing nothing wrong, he could have told you before you found out.

Read the first thread below about how the predators are going into various venues for prey, including the gaming systems too to groom their victims. YOUR HUSBAND WAS IN THE GAMING SYSTEM CHATTING WITH THE 15 YEAR OLD GIRL--so that goes along with the new places where predators are going to get their prey. Sorry, but I'm suspect of him.

One woman on that first thread even discusses her husband was a predator.

The second thread is about how predators work now. For them to be open that they are adults and slowly groom their victims so they willingly have sex with them.

http://www.katiecouric.com/on-the-show/2012/10/10/online-predators

http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-632111.pdf

It reads: If you can't report him if you found wrongdoing, then doing do it.

Should read: If you can't report him if you found wrongdoing, then don't do it.

Just my thoughts.... worrying if there is or was ever another girl should be the least of your concerns right now. The fact that he is engaging in a conversation with a 15 yr old regardless of the reason (other than family) should not be tolerated.

He might not have done anything but the foundation for something has none been laid. I assure you if that girls parents knew she was talking to a much older guy they would put an end to it.

Personally this not healthy or normal.

Christy

Thank you all so much. AsTimeGoesby, thanks so much for the links. Lisa, as for the question of whether I want to help him, or condemn him- I can say for sure that I don't want to help him. I've tried that. Do I want to condemn him? If he is a sex offender, yes. If that is the case, I don't want my kids around him so much. It's sad that he went to war and experienced awful things. There are people who didn't go to war and have PTSD from other incidents in their lives. If they're having relations with minors, they are wrong. Period. I don't know if he is- but if I did find out for sure, then I would not talk it out. I would fight for the most custody I felt appropriate, considering the indiscretion.

I'm turning 17 in 11 days and I've talked to a few older guys, but there was nothing to it. I've been talking to a 36 year old on here for awhile now. There isnt any flirting or anything, just one person who is there when the other needs advice or just to vent. If you didnt find anything sexual or worth checking into, then i really wouldnt worry about it.. For all you know this could be a child in trouble and he is the only one shes willing to talk to. Just trying to be positive here. I wish you the best of luck!

Ive hesitated to reply to this thread, but here goes...

I was one married to a combat vet...yes, with PTSD. Also, I work with PTSD vets in my professional life.

Take this as it is, pure and simple. No one gets help unless they want it. There is no amount if begging and pleading that will do a damn thing, until they WANT recovery. Trust me on that.
my ex was also into the video game thing. I won't go into detail of that here, but it was highly inappropriate and involved web cam action.

My ex h game allowed a chat log of conversations with other players. He enabled the log at some point and I found 122 pages of horrific truth in conversation.

I hit the damn print button...oops! :D

With that said, if you choose to look, prepare yourself.

Sending lots of healing hugs your way.....

There is NO REASON a man of that age shoul be speaking with a 15 year old girl. None. They have nothing in common. There is no need to have any discussion whatsoever. He's not related he's not family to her.

they have pen pal programs for soldiers who get stationed in places where all the company they really have is other men........sometimes these programs create pen pals that can be underage. I think in this situation people would feel a little safer about older men talking to underage girls but when it involves the internet........it can be very unsettling to say the least. My husband still has his letters from a little girl and its not sexual in nature...it was about having contact with someone else besides military people and to remember there is a world still out there.

And I would back you 150% charliesgirl....if this fella was serving and this was a program being run to support troops overseas. That us an entirely different kettle of fish that a guy chattering to a LITTLE GIRL on video games.

I agree that he has to want help and he has to seek help himself. You can't fix or change him and that's up to him.

Your husband got caught, he knew it was wrong, and he's not actively into therapy so he doesn't do it again.

PTSD is never an excuse for involvement with a 15 year old girl and that's why the man mentioned was incarcerated and is now labeled a registered sex offender. The offenders typically say they didn't have sex with the young girl. PTSD doesn't give anyone a free pass and that's why the man was charged and incarcerated.

Ashley, you're a child and you'll discover that on here too are men that will try to take advantage of you. They don't need a 17 year old to vent to and talk to. they're adults and can go to adults to talk. Be very careful.

I do understand and that is why I gave my opinion to investigate ...I think what he is doing sounds fishy because he is seeking the attention of a younger age girl (that was the red flag to me)....if he wasn't seeking it then I wouldn't be that concerned about it. there was no information that I saw that he has been seeking at attention from other women besides this so it sends me a bad vibe as well but there is nothing that really supports that he is a predator so I'm not going to hang the guy of minimal information or what some other person has done but I would definitely keep my eye on it and if you want to go roque....get someone you know on the game to flush him out and see if it is the case...get his screen name...ease your mind......peace

AsTimeGoesBy-
I appreciate your concern, but at the same time I'm not a little girl anymore. I know the difference between right and wrong, I can speak up when I'm uncomfortable, I know better than to give away my address online, etc. And if all else fails, I'll get my mommy (: Lol. But again, i do appreciate the concern.

There has to be some concern when someone over 30 is engaged in conversations with a teenager they never knew and have met online.

I mean, think about it, what was he looking for online when he met her?

You can always file a report with the police even if you have no evidence. You let them know it is a concern. All reports are kept, and if you have further evidence in the future, you can report that also. When you file a report, they give you a report number. Keep it and refer to the numbers each time you file a new report.