Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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Since December I have been seriously considering getting a divorce from my husband. We have been married for 4 years and it started out great but several years ago he quit work so that he could go to school full time and when school did not work out for him very well he pretty much gave up on life. Meanwhile I was working 2 jobs to support us.
Right now I am going to school full time and working full time and he just about had a fit when I asked him if I could cut my hours from 40 a week to 32 a week. He finally got a job where he has to be there or he will get fired and he already hates it when he is still training. He always try's to come up with some kind of excuse to not work while I am doing so much.
Lastly I get yelled at for pretty much everything I do. I feel like I can never do anything right. When I have a bad day at work and I want to talk about it , it usually leads to a fight. It seems like most things lead to a fight. I feel like I practically have to beg for any kind of intimacy even cuddleing. I am just getting kind of tired of it. I try to talk to him about these issues and he gets mad and makes me look like the bad guy in the situation and it leads to a fight.
Is my relationship even worth still working on or is it pretty much over.
Right now I am going to school full time and working full time and he just about had a fit when I asked him if I could cut my hours from 40 a week to 32 a week. He finally got a job where he has to be there or he will get fired and he already hates it when he is still training. He always try's to come up with some kind of excuse to not work while I am doing so much.
Lastly I get yelled at for pretty much everything I do. I feel like I can never do anything right. When I have a bad day at work and I want to talk about it , it usually leads to a fight. It seems like most things lead to a fight. I feel like I practically have to beg for any kind of intimacy even cuddleing. I am just getting kind of tired of it. I try to talk to him about these issues and he gets mad and makes me look like the bad guy in the situation and it leads to a fight.
Is my relationship even worth still working on or is it pretty much over.
I'm sure your husband is jealous of your bond with family. He needs to wake up. Is his possessive or jealous of your relationship?
He has a new job but doesn't want to deal with the training for it? If he's already whining about that, odds are he won't last long there.
You have the same family now as you have had from the time you have been together, so what's changed that he wants you to stop seeing them?
Maybe I'm in a bitchy mood right now, but he sounds like he could do with a big does of suck it up and deal with "life". He has a JOB - does he know how many don't and are struggling to oh, I don't know - have food to eat? A roof over their head? You didn't sign on to be his mommy so he needs to quit acting like a baby and be a responsible adult and know that life can be tough, its going to come with its challenges but its just about a good as we make it out be in the end. Even when we don't have the perfect job or other disappointments (school) happen.
BTW, I work FT and go to school FT too. I really get how it can be draining and hard to manage/balance it all so I'm going to project a little here and really resent him for giving you shit about cutting down your hours. What an asshole. Sorry. Back to you...as the others have mentioned, put counseling on the table. If he's not interested then you'll have to decide how much longer you want to put up with his weak and whining ways and figure out if he is just going through a rough spot or if he's a big baby who can't deal with life's challenges after all.
He is doing little, but having all the say and his say is yelling. That wouldn't fly for me. It makes for an extremely one-way relationship. If it were me, I would be telling him it's his time to step up and be a man instead of acting like a princess.
I fear this relationship doesn't seem to have a long life. You can't fix or change him and if he doesn't want to change, then you have to change the way you look at things and you may want to look at separating.
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