Here's my opinion - while going through the divorce do not go out while the kids are with you. She will argue in court that you actually don't spend the time with them (even if they are in bed), therefore why should you have the time with them. Once your divorce is finalized you can tell her where to stick it, but play the game until then. It sucks, I know, but there will be an end to it.

You may not wan to hear this...I don't know how much you have your kids. But my ex doesn't have them too often and it irritates the hell out of me when he leaves them with a sitter. He all the time in the worl to go out...why must he choose the time the kids are with him to do it?? Sorry. I foyu have your kids a lot...then that's different.

Thanks for all your feedback and suggestions.

I have the kids tuesdays, thursdays, and every other weekend. In fact this past tuesday, I spent the whole day with them, i took them to an amusement park and hang out at the pool. I feel I spend good quality time with them.

As for last night, I was planning on be gone for only a couple of hours at most and only minutes away in case of emergency.

I will definitely not do that again until after the divorce is final.

I just can't believe how my stbx reacted. She has left the kids with a babysitter so often.

Somer it might be good for you to take a single parenting class. It will help you to understand how the dynamic between child and parent changes after a divorce. You need to learn how childrien view things and how this affects them as well. Only, kids don't have the mental maturity to process it like adults do.

Waiting until after the divorce is final has no bearing on this situation. Leaving them with a sitter when you only have them half the month is not in their best interests. Especially if they are young. It tells them that your life is more important than them. Regardless of how much "fun time" you spend with them. They have already had to suffer the demise of their family as they know it, why add more burden on them?

I have to agree with those who say go out when your kids are with your X only, I do. But I have had to have a sitter a few times for school/classes, I'm a part time college student. My X did not question who I got as a sitter, and I wish I could say the same for him, but I admit I will have to ask if he does ever get a sitter. You may think I'm controlling, but I think he just wasn't concerned because he knew I wouldn't have chosen anyone with even the least hint of jeapordy to the kids. His question was already answered unasked. Mine won't be.

Lee