She wants the divorce..let her pay for it!

I think that those who intiate the divorce should pay for it. It was me in my case. I paid for all of divorce fees plus I gave him over $7k for moving/furniture costs. He was only moving because I gave him the boot. My kick was so strong that he moved to another city... thus the high cost.

I have to agree with you courier....but... I do want the closure of having it done and having her out of being in a position where she can affect me like she can now. It is a PITA. Damned if I do, Damned if I don't. I just want to go through the friend and get it over with. I might have to go to him myself and talk to him. He is already aware of the situation and he is very disappointed in the ex. She doesn't know this yet but people who know me well and know what I went through are really surprised and let down with her. In my area, her name is Mudd!

Uh, using the same lawyer?

Not a good idea me thinks.

Let her pay for her own lawyer.

THis is a NON-Contested divorce. This means that per the separation agreement, the property has been split by mutual agreement and all the terms have already been agreed upon. I am not fighting her at all and she isn't fighting with me. I figured out that it is far better to take a few knocks now instead of paying a lawyer way too much money and not coming out any further ahead in the long run.

Come on guys . Peace of mind for $375. Cheap at ten times the price. Get off the high horse and pay it. She wants to control things let her.

my stbx cheated on me... and for 2 years has known that we are done and getting a divorce... yet he refuses to pay... I want this done and over with so I'm going to go ahead and do it next week but in turn I'm going to charge him for the whole kit and caboodle! He's the one that couldn't keep his hands off some other fluzzy he's the one that can dang well pay for this divorce... I'm doing it as cheaply as I can... but he is going to pay me back every single cent!!

She has always wanted stuff on her terms. I have contacts and I am already looking at my financial forcast and I don't want to send any extra money right now with the $800 in personal property that I have to pay right now. Yep...I am cheap but I need to be because I have a lot of expenses.

My ex and I used my lawyer...he paid since he wanted the divorce. All worked out for us...that was weird since it really didn't work out...we are divorced and I didn't want a divorce...oh well...we just agreed to keep it simple since we have a child in common and we need to co-exist in a healthy mindset for the sake of our little boy who matters so much.

What Bernie said.

Z...I think that I have your mindset but we don't have the kid. I can remain civil with her because it is the right thing to do. She wanted the divorce and I didn't. I can't really keep her from getting it so I am an unwilling party that realizes that in the real world if one person wants out then the other person is left without a leg to stand on.

Funny...I use to ask her why she was doing this and she always said "We are just two different people." Sorry, Cop instincts tell me differently. Funny, but now I don't even care what her reasoning is. I know why the relationship didn't work and what she claims happens and what I claim happened doesn't even matter. The thing in the end that matters is that she wants out and there is no point to keep her in because both of us would be miserable. Anytime a relationship fails both people have a part in why it failed. It is neither all her and it isn't all me. The truth is that I know what I need to work on and I have gone out and worked on those things. She is still just damaged goods and I feel sorry for the next man in her life.

It is really Sad because she had it all. A loving husband, a descent house, nice cars, horses, and a boat. She wanted to end all of that and now she has her friends but comes home to an empty house that she can't take care of by herself but she is trying to. She bitched about the way I maintained stuff but I did maintain it. Everytime I went over there the yard wasn't kept nearly as nice as I kept it and there were other things that I could have fixed.

Be careful what you wish for, you might get it. I will admit that times when she was really acting badly towards me I thought about leaving and getting a divorce. Truth is that I probably would have never done it. Maybe she really did me a favor because she caused me a lot of stress and I don't have anymore.

Wow, I am really rambling on here. I guess the point is that there isn't a winner or a looser in these things. As Jim Morris said "It won't bleed, but it hurts real bad." That is the truth in this thing. I can neither rejoice in my new found freedom nor be upset because neither emotion is right. I thought that it may have been a failure but it isn't...it is a lesson learned.

I am not sure what I will do. I will probably talk to my lawyer friend and get him to do it and go half with her to get peace of mind at this point.

My X wanted our divorce really bad too. His butt paid for it too. She wants it, let her pay for it. Tell her to grow up and suck it up!

True...still not sure what I will do...Peace of mind is priceless.

Really all it is, is a few sheets of papers. In NC you can get the forms to do it at the public library and type it file it and be done. If you both go together, she can waive her 30 days to respond and its done in a matter of minutes.

I'd pay my share and get it over.