By all means take her call and get some answers for your own piece of mind, but for the sake of God, please... BE COOL!

The last thing you want to do is sound desperate when you are talking to her.. blurting it out and crying like a lovestruck puppy. That's what the boards are for dude, it's pretty clear it's knocked you sideways, but she really doesn't need to know all this during this phone call!!. So.. take on board the good advice that has been afforded to you, by the good people on here and chill the fuck out!

I am sure the people on this board who have been reading about your situation (including me) will be rooting for you. Even if you don't get her back, make sure you keep your dignity!

Peace

I agree with Cole78. Definitely take her call, but stay cool. The last thing you need to do is sound desperate. (even if you are!)

I'm rooting for you and hoping that things work out for you in the best possible way.

-Mike

THANKS!!

Here's my take on it.
YES tell her you miss her.
Of course. But leave it at that. See if she says it first.
And if she wants to talk about the two of you, tell her that your trust is wavering because of all that's happened...that you do still love her, and only want her, but know she feels differently (not wanting only you) - and tell her you're available when she's ready to talk about things.
That is what I would do.
GOOD LUCK!

Hi I'm fairly new here as far as posting but not new in I have been reading the post for a while so I have read your story and I just want to say that I hope all worked out well for you today. I always feel its best to say whats in your heart as I have always found I live more with the regrets of what I didn't say. So I would have voted to tell her.

take her call if you feel you can handle it but make sure to keep your expectations realistic. You do not know why she is calling,

How you will or should handle it I guess depends on the nature of why she is calling. It may be hard to hold your tongue on several things you just want to blurt out, but try to remember that sometimes silence yields more.

try to listen, contain the shoot from the hip reaction, and let her drive but not take control.

I'm going to give you my honest (and favorite) answer. People don't change. I'm not telling what to do or not do, but keep in mind there is a strong chance it, or something similar, will happen again.

And because this is her doing, don't feel bad when she begins to break down, remember this is what she wanted 12 days ago.

We talked on skype for 3 hours. She now says I misunderstood her. She said she never said she was going away for a week with a man. She said she was going to go out with him and then take a week off. I could have misunderstood her. I have a tendency to think the worse. But I have her email message and it says It is time I think of myself and be happy. I accepted an invitation. I am going away next week with a friend. Was my interpretation wrong or did she change her mind and now she is trying to fix it? She says she ended up spending the week with her mother 20 minutes away from my home!!! She said she cried all week and again blames me for not calling her. I thought she was with another man. During the conversation we had our good moments when she said she loved me and sent me kisses and smiles but then switched to hate mode for a long time, reading the usual list of complains about me. During that time of the conversation she was very manipulative and impossible to reason with. This happens often. She said our love was impossible. We live to far away and have different lives. But then she said her love for me will never change. I am so confused. I told her I loved her and that she was very important to me. She is willing to stay as friends and call each other. But she insisted that the misunderstanding was too big and had messed up everything. She does not want me back. But as I said at the same time she said that her love for me will never change. I am so confused and tired. I have a feeling that she is very complicated. I also think I could have clarified what she meant if she had not texted me she did not want to talk to me. She blames me for not calling her anyway, for not fighting for her. For accepting what she said. I should add that the weekend before she disappeared for three days. This did not help in me trying to call her after said she was going away and did not want to talk to me. Maybe this was all a big misunderstanding. We both suffered so much. I am confused. It is clear that she is still full of resentment. But she shows some signs that she does not want to let me go completely. Or maybe I am fooling myself.

We talked on skype for 3 hours. She now says I misunderstood her. She said she never said she was going away for a week with a man. She said she was going to go out with him and then take a week off. I could have misunderstood her. I have a tendency to think the worse. But I have her email message and it says It is time I think of myself and be happy. I accepted an invitation. I am going away next week with a friend. Was my interpretation wrong or did she change her mind and now she is trying to fix it? She says she ended up spending the week with her mother 20 minutes away from my home!!! She said she cried all week and again blames me for not calling her. I thought she was with another man. During the conversation we had our good moments when she said she loved me and sent me kisses and smiles but then switched to hate mode for a long time, reading the usual list of complains about me. During that time of the conversation she was very manipulative and impossible to reason with. This happens often. She said our love was impossible. We live to far away and have different lives. But then she said her love for me will never change. I am so confused. I told her I loved her and that she was very important to me. She is willing to stay as friends and call each other. But she insisted that the misunderstanding was too big and had messed up everything. She does not want me back. But as I said at the same time she said that her love for me will never change. I am so confused and tired. I have a feeling that she is very complicated. I also think I could have clarified what she meant if she had not texted me she did not want to talk to me. She blames me for not calling her anyway, for not fighting for her. For accepting what she said. I should add that the weekend before she disappeared for three days. This did not help in me trying to call her after said she was going away and did not want to talk to me. Maybe this was all a big misunderstanding. We both suffered so much. I am confused. It is clear that she is still full of resentment. But she shows some signs that she does not want to let me go completely. Or maybe I am fooling myself.

Resentment: some things she is right about but not serious enough for a break up. Most are things like my previous ex writing a comment on my wall in fb. When she dumped me 12 days ago I posted a song called FREEDOM. That really made her mad all week. DIdnt help. But I was hurt and upset.

I am so sad she was 20 min from my house and did not call me. Now she is 3000 miles away with no vacation time for a long time. And I am too sick to travel. We really needed that opportunity to see each other. Things would be completely different now. There is nothing like physical presence. And a big hug and kiss, and maybe some makeover sex. What a missed opportunity. I dont know when I will see her again. I am so sad.

It was not a misunderstanding. She did say that she had an invitation from a friend to spend a week with him and that she had talked to her supervisor for a one week leave. Maybe she changed her mind later or it was partly a lie. But she said what she said.

She still wants to remain friends and told me that our relationship was impossible. But also said that she loves me from deep in he soul. Again, both messages. I think she can come around but I am feeling very ANXIOUS. when I talk to her, apprehensive about saying the wrong thing. I want to tell her I love her soooo much.

Gabriel

WOW! She sounds like a crazy maker to me-is this really what you want?

I think you need to do some soul searching-life is to short and precious to be having such drama in your life.
She's the one who was in town and didn't call you-she told you what she had planned. And now you're suppose to be a mind reader as well. Gosh!

Sending you prayers and support!

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS DRAMA/ I dont think so; I would hope not. Sounds like something went wrong with the other relationship and now she is trying to change her story around. Let her go. She is complicated and not to be trusted.