Been there done that! I won't judge it because I did it but all it did was delay the inevitable. It kept me from getting real, facing the music and pushing forward with action to resolve what needed to be resolved. And it left me feeling used and like a receptacle...
I would think twice on it....

Here is something to think about

You planned a child, he initiated it and left.
Everyone else is gross to you.

So while he has left you in such an honorable fashion, how many other women is he being so kind to, and if you do sleep with him, what could he possible give you and or your unborn child?

His common sense is not their, Sex is great and all, but why risk being treated as a blow up doll on his whim, when he could be doing who knows what with who knows who.

Respect yourself and your child, if you need sex, find a friends with benefits who you do not find gross, get them to get tests done and go to town, or just get a great vibrator.

yea i know all this, im torn here.
i told him i would meet with him, but that i didnt think i could do it.
i know if he just left, then yea, i would feel like a blown up doll thrown in the trash... and all this crap he has done to me.
and i know i dont want a relationship with him right now, and im more concerned with the baby, but on the other hand, if i get there, and dont want to, i can just throw up, i do that quite easily, that should just turn him off, LOL.... ugh... im entirely and utterly ridiculous.
but i guess i need to see him, so i can make the choice, because i didnt have a choice in what happened when we broke up, and i have felt out of control and invalid, so at least i can look at him this way, and say ither NO or yes, ither way, my choice.
does that make sense in a sick way?

It sounds to me, and I hope I dont come of rude on this as it is not my intent, that you are just trying to grasp at anything you can to get some control, because you never had that option in him leaving.

It is your choice, and I know early on, many people, myself included ran the thought of sex and the ex in the head. Some do it, others don't, but if you read the stories of those who do, I can not say I have seen any case where they come out happy about it. The emotions get mixed, the healing takes longer and they regret it.

Good luck in whatever you choose, but remember you never have to stand to be disrespected.

You know, you are entirely right, and your exact words run through my logic side of the brain, then there is my hormonal crazy emotional side of the brain, and im having trouble coming to a compromise between the two. i think i need to go see him, if anything, to know what i will do. does that make sense? its not all about him, and yes, i grasp at things to take my power back, but right now this is all just a thought.
i also wonder, and am going through, if i can be friends with him, if i can have conversations with him for our baby, or if i should just shoo him away. i just dont know, and in a way i need to know. i'll keep it all posted. i dont know how much i really am attatched to him, i dont know whats hormones, what was actually love and loss of love, or what is just me, and me having my fantasies of what i wanted to be... and mourning the loss of those in face of reality... does that make sense? i think i could figure some of this out today.
when it comes down to it, this is more about me, than it is about him.
its like, do i miss him? or what i wanted us to be? and i cant decide that without seeing him, i may go see him, and realize that i dont want him, and its my own self that is putting me through hell, or i may realize that i really do miss him, ither way i need to know so i can deal with it.

It sounds like you are moving into the "horny phase". There are a couple of great books out there that talk about the 20-30 sum odd phases you go through in divorce. And, this phase is usually addressed with some caution.

This phase has a high risk factor involved. So, listen to what Mopri is saying. Slac had a great Bob post out there. Maybe read it. Do anything to keep you and your child safe.

If he wants you back, and is willing to work on the relationshi, and you want to too... Great... But, I still wouldn't recommend sex. Given his history, I would say tests are required first. If he doesn't want to work on it. They definitely avoid sex. Don't give him what he wants.

anyway... my 2 cents...

I have done the sex with the ex, its not worth the emotional stuff after, trust me on this one. I am with louie on this one.

You would risk to much all the way around. I know its tough, especially with the hormones and being prego and all.

But if you can just hold out you'll have so much more respect for yourself....and thats what really counts.

Just my two cents on this one... don't go there. I can see the temptation, have had those thoughts myself. It can only leave you feeling even more hurt and used.

I think it is wonderful that you are feeling sexual (I'm feeling pretty dead right now and that is NOT normal for me) but how about just spending sometime indulging yourself? This is a perfect example where BOB is a wonderful alternative.
Ultimately you have to decide for yourself. So good luck!

I am sorry for what you are going through and hope not to come across as anything but supportive.

Hang in there!

OK the update...
strange thing... i went, and we did, but it wasnt about the sex.
i think i needed to do that, to see exactly how attatched i was to him,
to say in my own head, now that i have him here, do i really want him?
is it the loss of the relationship and love that i mourn? or the loss of some fantasy i created of how i wanted my perfect life to be?
and i couldnt come to this conclusion, all i felt was rejection, and abandoned. and i was scared, i knew the risks, and i knew there was a chance it would tear me into an emotional downpour,
but it didnt. and that is what i needed to know. so i feel actually, strangely, more in control of myself. we talked some as well.
and he acknowledged the baby, not like i would like, but he is not ignoring the issue, like it was some accident like he had been,
he did not push me, he let me hug him, and he hugged me back, not like he used to, but he did. basically, he didnt just wham bam me, like i thought he would do. i told him, hey, we can see each other, once in a while, and we dont have to have expectations, if it dont work, then it dont. but i need time to myself, and you need time to grow up. i dont know what all will come to pass, if he will stay in this frame of mind or freak out again. but he also just figured out, im smart, and i could make his life, and his career, HELL.
he is being transferred ships because of what he did now....
and while i am past fighting now, i just dont have the energy,
if he lied to me, then i would make his life rather difficult. cause i said i am NOT sleeping with you if you have been with someone else, or plan to be. and if i find out otherwise, then I WILL BE a force to reckon with. thank you all, you have all been supportive.
i knew the risks, but i had to do this, i had to know i could be, and am a strong person. and my conclusion is, I dont want to go running back to him. i dont feel that way after today, im still sad and depressed over what happened between us, and angry about him leaving me with our baby, but i can move on now. i can be ok. i dont feel like i am going to break down if i run into him in the grocery store like i did. and i think this feeling of being ok is going to stay.

good for you. I'm glad it turned out to be a help.

Well I am glad you are not set back from it.

Also, if you do see each other in the future with no expectations, do that, no expectations, leave the past at the door and just fuck like monkeys till your satisfied, but be safe about it, finding out later that he was with X amount of other women might not help if he already gave you something.

So like anyone else, Have fun, play safe, and enjoy the ride (no pun intended)

I think it was more a test for me emotionally, than it was just sex... lol.
i dont even know if i want that again from him really.

Get a BOB, some porn movie...and you will not regret!!! I love my BOB, keeps me out of trouble. When we separate, it takes time for the hormones to balance again, adapt to singlehood. So, the horny phase is a hormonal adjustment of your body to no regular sex, and the body will crave for it while that adjustment is happening. I am sure there is more going on with your hormones than the rest of us, due to being pregnant. Ask your dr though, if BOB, and lubricants are safe. At least BOB alone should be, so you can play a little and have some natural lubrication going on...porn movies are great too.

I think you are playing with fire, might be real fun and a real pain...not sure how much that will help ya in the long run

But, hey, I had sex with the sex and I never was pregnant...but I did not want him around because it is emotional roller coaster, and I wanted out of that...my 2 cents

Say no to sex..he's using you (My opinion of course). Sex with ex = bad and comes with regrets.