Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Since joining this site and reading so many stories I realized my relationship was unhealthy. It had been over for months but the last months I was clinging on. I was only trying to avoid the truth and prolong what was already destined to happen anyways.
I turned my cell phone off for a week this prevented me from being able to call him or text him. It prevented seeing messages from him and it prevented the anxiety over seeing he hasn't even bothered to call me.
It was hard but each day got slightly easier. I was feeling proud of myself. Even though everything felt difficult I had this tiny bit of hope. It wasn't much but it was the first time I could even see a future for myself without him in it.
A few nights ago everything changed. He randomly stopped by my house. I was doing some reading and the doorbell rang. I looked out the window and I saw him. My heart sank, I felt 1000 things at once. Turning off my phone was one thing but him right there was too much I wasn't in a place strong enough to ignore it. I let him inside and asked him what it was he wanted to talk about. He said he was wondering If I was okay. the stupid part of me light up. I felt "WOW" he cares he was worried!!! "he came all the way here so see if I was okay!!" I let my guard down and tossed out everything I had worked so hard on. Long story short he basically came over because he felt we could still have sex. When I saw this is what he wanted I felt stupid. I felt embarrassed and humiliated that still this is all he sees me as. I asked him to leave. He left but not before laughing and telling me it wont be long before I am back because its what I always do. He was using my weaknesses and laughing at me ?? I was crushed!! he thinks I am a joke he thinks I am weak and pathetic.
Seeing him was very difficult. I feel I had to start the restart button on my feelings and emotions and going through it again but this time with the added humiliation of what he said. I have never in my life had so many up and down emotions.
I will try this again although I do feel more broken then I initially was.
I turned my cell phone off for a week this prevented me from being able to call him or text him. It prevented seeing messages from him and it prevented the anxiety over seeing he hasn't even bothered to call me.
It was hard but each day got slightly easier. I was feeling proud of myself. Even though everything felt difficult I had this tiny bit of hope. It wasn't much but it was the first time I could even see a future for myself without him in it.
A few nights ago everything changed. He randomly stopped by my house. I was doing some reading and the doorbell rang. I looked out the window and I saw him. My heart sank, I felt 1000 things at once. Turning off my phone was one thing but him right there was too much I wasn't in a place strong enough to ignore it. I let him inside and asked him what it was he wanted to talk about. He said he was wondering If I was okay. the stupid part of me light up. I felt "WOW" he cares he was worried!!! "he came all the way here so see if I was okay!!" I let my guard down and tossed out everything I had worked so hard on. Long story short he basically came over because he felt we could still have sex. When I saw this is what he wanted I felt stupid. I felt embarrassed and humiliated that still this is all he sees me as. I asked him to leave. He left but not before laughing and telling me it wont be long before I am back because its what I always do. He was using my weaknesses and laughing at me ?? I was crushed!! he thinks I am a joke he thinks I am weak and pathetic.
Seeing him was very difficult. I feel I had to start the restart button on my feelings and emotions and going through it again but this time with the added humiliation of what he said. I have never in my life had so many up and down emotions.
I will try this again although I do feel more broken then I initially was.
It is hard to see them and I pray for you to have strength and stay strong.
I do feel both of your pain. I think the worst part is the feeling where you know you deserve better then this so you think how can this be so hard? how am I hurting so badly when this isn't what was best for me?
Thank you =) He actually has a lot of childish qualities to begin with. On the outside he is successful, smart, etc but inside he is a little baby. When we would argue or disagree his way of dealing with it was to hang up the phone and not answer until he decided he wanted to talk. (sometimes days ) Despite the hurt I feel, at least I don't have to deal with those childish attics! another thing to be thankful for lol.
That was one of the WORST things. I walked on eggshells all the time because he could not handle anything he didn't like to hear. most of the time I tried to be very pleasant and I didn't bring up conflict because he gets offended easily and doesn't ever want to hear "complaining ' so if I was angry or wanted to point something out and he disagreed he would just hang up. He has a good career but I cant imagine he has never come across any conflict at work. Did he walk away and ignore his bosses if he didn't like to hear it? NO so he clearly knows how to communicate if he needs to he just chose not to. I am seeing that when a relationship is healthy you don't have to keep your feelings inside because you are afraid if this person doesn't like what they hear they may leave you. You should be able to vent and point out someone's faults to improve your relationship without the same worry