Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Seperation

lost001
lost001

Hi, My wife told me last week that she does not want to be with me anymore.

this came about as i saw she had been calling another guy weekly for a couple of months


the only reason i looked at her phone is because she has been distant with me and i developed relationship anxiety whihc took over.


I feel awful that i looked at her phone as this is out of charcter to me but im hurt that she has been talking to this other guy


I'm also trying to deal with that she doesn't want to be with me, I feel guily, sad, angry.


My emotions are all over the place and i am struggling cope

hasty_05
hasty_05
Wow, that’s really rough, Lost001. You knew something was wrong or going on so you snooped. At least you know, it’s hell just noticing the spouse is checked out but not knowing anything concrete. Do you have a Therapist? That might be helpful to you in healing from this loss.
lost001
lost001
I have therapy booked but it doesn't start until September
jamesy1991
jamesy1991
That sounds really tough. It sounds like you had a gut instinct or your intuition kicked in because of some of her behaviours. I think that’s totally rational and although the snooping on the phone may feel like an invasion of privacy - in a marriage you both should be open and honest. Speaking on the phone with someone of the opposite sex weekly seems odd but maybe (and hindsight is a wonderful thing) the right thing would have been to communicate those feelings of anxiety in a calm manner. God knows that’s bloody hard when you’ve convinced yourself of the worst.

I hope that you’ve managed to find some peace in this. Don’t beat yourself up for snooping. It seems like a real over reaction to ask for a divorce for something so small. That alongside her speaking with another man suggests that maybe she has been feeling this way for a while and I’m so sorry - I hope I’m wrong. I hope you are doing okay my friend
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